John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

respect your needs as I do my own, and to appreciate that you are doing your best to 
communicate your feelings and love. 
 
I promise to listen and not correct or deny your feelings. I promise to accept you and not try to 

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change you. 
 
I am willing to listen to your feelings because I do care and I trust that we can work this out. 
 
The first few times you practice the Love Letter Technique it will be much safer if you actually 
read these statements out loud. These statements of intent will help you remember to respect 
your partner's feelings and respond in a loving, safe way. 
 
MINI LOVE LETTERS 
 
If you are upset and you don't have twenty minutes to write a Love Letter, you can try writing a 
mini Love Letter. It only takes three to five minutes and can really help. Here are some 
examples: 
 
 
Dear Max, 
 
1. I am so angry that you are late! 
 
2. I am sad that you have forgotten me. 
 
3. I am afraid you don't really care about me. 
 
4. I am sorry that I am so unforgiving. 
 
5. I love you and I forgive you for being late. I know you really love me. Thank you for trying. 
 
Love, Sandie 
 
Dear Henry, 
 
1. I am angry that you are so tired. I am angry that you just watch TV. 
 
2. I am sad that you don't want to talk to me. 
 
3. I am afraid that we are growing apart. I am afraid of making you angry. 
 
4. I am sorry that I rejected you at dinner. I am sorry I blame you for our problems.