John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by


handle negative feelings and are willing to do so. In that case even monster letters can be very


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Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus

handle negative feelings and are willing to do so. In that case even monster letters can be very 
helpful. 
 
8. Displacement Love Letter. When present events upset you and remind you of unresolved 
feelings from childhood, imagine you can go back in time and write a letter to one of your 
parents, sharing your feelings and asking for their support. 
 
WHY WE NEED TO WRITE LOVE LETTERS 
 
As we have explored throughout this book, it is vastly important for women to share their 
feelings and feel cared for, understood, and respected. It is equally important for men to feel 
appreciated, accepted, and trusted. The biggest problem in relationships occurs when a woman 
shares her upset feelings and, as a result, a man feels unloved. 
 
To him, her negative feelings may sound critical, blaming, demanding, and resentful. When he 
rejects her feelings, she then feels unloved. The success of a relationship is solely dependent on 
two factors: a man's ability to listen lovingly and respectfully to a woman's feelings, and a 
woman's ability to share her feelings in a loving and respectful way. 
 
A relationship requires that partners communicate their changing feelings and needs. To expect 
perfect communication is certainly too idealistic. Fortunately, between here and perfection 
there is a lot of room for growth. 
 
Realistic Expectations 
 


137 
To expect communication always to be easy is unrealistic. Some feelings are very difficult to 
communicate without hurting the listener. Couples who have wonderful and loving 
relationships will sometimes agonize over how to communicate in a way that works for both 

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