John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

(brief and direct) 
What She Should Not Say 
(indirect) 
What He Hears When She is 
Indirect 
"Would you pick up the 
kids?" 
"The kids need to be picked up 
and I can't do it." 
"If you can pick them up you should, 
other wise I will feel very unsupported 
and resent you (demand)." 
"Would you bring in the 
groceries?" 
"The groceries are in the car." 
"It's your job to bring them in, I went 
shopping (expectation)." 
"Would you empty the 
trash?" 
"I can't fit anything else in the 
trash can." 
"You haven't emptied the trash. You 
shouldn't wait so long (criticism)." 
"Would you clean up the 
backyard?" 
"The backyard is really a mess." 
"You didn't clean up the yard again. 
You should be more responsible, I 
shouldn't 
have 
to 
remind 
you 
(rejection)." 
"Would you bring in the "The mail hasn't been brought "You forgot to bring in the mail. You 

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mail" 
in." 
should remember (disapproval)." 
"Would you take us out to 
eat tonight?" 
"I have no time to make dinner 
tonight." 
"I have done so much, the least you 
could do is take us out tonight." 
(dissatisfaction) 
"Would you take me out 
this week?" 
"We haven't gone out in 
weeks." 
"You are neglecting me. I'm not getting 
what I need. You should take me out 
more often (resentment)." 
"Would you schedule some 
time to talk with me?" 
"We need to talk." 
"It is your fault we don't talk enough. 
You should talk with me more (blame)." 
 
5. Use Correct Wording. One of the most common mistakes in asking for support is the use of