At times they begin to lose and forget themselves. They can feel that too much intimacy robs
them of their power. They need to regulate how close they get. Whenever they get too close so
as to lose themselves, alarm bells go off and they are on their way into the cave. As a result they
are rejuvenated and find their loving and powerful self again.
Why Women Talk
Women talk for a variety of reasons. Sometimes women talk for the same reasons that men stop
talking. These are four common reasons that women talk:
1. To convey or gather information. (This is generally the only reason a man talks.)
2. To explore and discover what it is she wants to say. (He stops talking to figure out inside
what he wants to say. She talks to think out loud.)
3. To feel better and more centered when she is upset. (He stops talking when he is upset. In his
cave he has a chance to cool off.)
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4. To create intimacy. Through sharing her inner feelings she is able to know her loving self. (A
Martian stops talking to find himself again. Too much intimacy, he fears, will rob him of
himself.)
Without this vital understanding of our differences and needs it is easy to see why couples
struggle so much in relationships.
Getting Burned by the Dragon
It is important for women to understand not to try and get a man to talk before he is ready.
While discussing this topic in one of my seminars. a Native American shared that in her tribe
mothers would instruct young women getting married to remember that when a man was upset
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