Language, gender, and politeness

Language and gender

• Introduction to sociolinguistics

Why can’t a woman be more like a man? - My Fair Lady

Reality check (1)

• women - talk more than men, talk too much, are more polite, are indecisive/hesitant, complain and nag, ask more questions, support each other, are more co-operative

• men - swear more, don't talk about emotions, talk about sport more, talk about women and machines in the same way, insult each other frequently, are competitive in conversation, dominate conversation, speak with more authority, give more commands, interrupt more.

• Living Language (2000) by George Keith and John Shuttleworth

Women’s language (Lakoff, 1975)

• Hedge: using phrases like “sort of”, “kind of”, “it seems like”,and so on.
• Use (super)polite forms: “Would you mind...”,“I'd appreciate it if...”, “...if you don't mind”.
• Use tag questions: “You're going to dinner, aren't you?”
• Speak in italics: intonational emphasis equal to underlining words - so, very, quite.
• Use empty adjectives: divine, lovely, adorable, and so on
• Use hypercorrect grammar and pronunciation: English prestige grammar and clear enunciation.
• Use direct quotation: men paraphrase more often.
• Have a special lexicon: women use more words for things like colours, men for sports.
• Use question intonation in declarative statements: women make declarative statements into questions by raising the pitch of their voice at the end of a statement, expressing uncertainty. For example, “What school do you attend? Eton College?”
• Use “wh-” imperatives: (such as, “Why don't you open the door?”)
• Speak less frequently
• Overuse qualifiers: (for example, “I Think that...”)
• Apologise more: (for instance, “I'm sorry, but I think that...”)
• Use modal constructions: (such as can, would, should, ought - “Should we turn up the heat?”)
• Avoid coarse language or expletives
• Use indirect commands and requests: (for example, “My, isn't it cold in here?” - really a request to turn the heat on or close a window)
• Use more intensifiers: especially so and very (for instance, “I am so glad you came!”)
• Lack a sense of humour: women do not tell jokes well and often don't understand the punch line of jokes.

Reality check

Fact: Women use more standard speech forms than men. Why?

A1: The social status

• Women are status-conscious
• The way they speak shows their social class or social status.

A2: Women’s role

• The society expects ‘better’ behavior from women than from women.

A3: Subordinate groups must be polite

• Women as a subordinate group
• Avoid offending men.
• Use polite speech
• Protect women’s ‘face’.

A4: machismo

• Vernacular forms express machismo.

A5: Contextual factor

• A reflection of women’s sensibility to contextual factors.
• Standard speech in formal contexts.

MEN-WOMEN INTERACTIONS

General Styles

• Men tend to be more competitive and less supportive of others
• Women are more cooperative.

Interruptions

• In cross-gender interactions, almost all the interruptions were from men.
• In meetings
• In doctor-patient interactions
• Parents and children
• Pre-school boys interrupt too.
• Women are socialized from early childhood to expect to be interrupted.

Feedback

• Women provide more encouraging feedback.

Women’s gossip

• Description
• Easy and idle in-group talk in informal contexts
• Function
• To affirm solidarity
• To maintain the social relstionships

Linguistic features of the gossip

• Propositions which express feelings are often intensified.
• Complete each other’s utterances, agree frequently, and provide supportive feedback.

“Gossip is good for women's health.”

• “The research reveals a woman is happier and healthier if she enjoys a regular chat with her female friend because it boosts levels of progesterone, a hormone shown to reduces levels of anxiety and stress.” (The Telegraph, June 10, 2009)
• http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/5496680/Gossip-is-good-for-womens-health-scientists-claim.html

The construction of gender

• Gender identity
• Women adapt to masculine contexts
• Men adapt to feminine contexts.

Sexism in language

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal - Declaration of Independence, 1776.

Sexism in language

• Generic ‘he’ and ‘man’
• Man has been civilized for centuries. He no longer needs to hunt for food for his women and children.
• The male form is unmarked; the female form is marked.
• Prince; princess.
• Animal/food imagery
• Bitch, chick,
• Sugar, honey, sweetie