Lecture The Study of Intercultural Communication Key Terms

3.4 Content Versus Relationship
Communication scholars distinguish between two dimensions of a message:

1. 
   the message content, or what is said;
   
2. 
   the relationship, or how it is said.
   

This distinction was originally formulated by Gregory Bateson while observing monkeys playing in the San Francisco zoo. He noticed that one monkey would nip another in a way that looked like real combat, but both monkeys understood that the nip was just in play. Bateson concluded that the bite message must have been preceded by another signal that established a playful relationship between the two monkeys. He called the relationship message metacommunication, that is communication about communication. Humans as well as monkeys, frequently engage in metacommunication. For example, one person is laughing while he makes a very offensive statement to a close friend, who thus understands from the smile that the remark is in jest.
The content versus relationship dimensions of communication are different in different cultures. Collectivistic cultures put greater emphasis upon the relationship aspect of a message. For example, individuals in a collectivistic culture form messages in a way so as not to offend or make another person lose face. Less important is the clarity of the message content because relationships are considered more important. In comparison, individualistic cultures stress message content over the relationship dimension of a message. If someone’s feelings get hurt by a communication message, too bad. Individuals generally feel that effective communication depends on being clear and avoiding ambiguity, although in an individualistic culture there are situations when ambiguous messages are appropriate. For example, a certain degree of ambiguity would be appropriate when an individual refuses an invitation for a date. Explanations such as “I’m too busy” or “I have to study for an exam” are more acceptable than “No, I don’t like you”.
One of the important functions of interpersonal communication is to form and maintain interpersonal relationships (intimate or distant, etc). culture defines the nature of these relationships between people and their intercultural interpersonal communication. Thus one of the most important dimension of interpersonal relationships, especially in most Asian cultures, is face, defined as the public self-image that an individual wants to present in a particular social context. Face is particularly important for the Japanese, Chinese, and other Asians and Asian Americans who share a collectivistic culture. These individuals are extremely concerned with how they will appear to others around them. They wish to avoid looking foolish or making a social error that could lead to guilt or shame. Much attention is given to maintaining positive interpersonal relationships with peers. In order to help another person maintain face, one should pay compliments, and offer frequent apologies for oneself. One should not criticize Asian persons in public situations, as this act might harm the individual’s face. For example, a North American teaching English as a foreign language in Japan playfully said in class to a favorite student: “You are a lazy student”. The student did not talk to the teacher for the next several weeks and was very hurt by the teacher’s joking comment. The student had lost face.
A distinction can be made between maintaining someone else’s face versus your own. In collectivistic cultures like Asia, the maintenance of other-face predominates. In individualistic cultures, attention to self-face is more important. Yet, face is not unimportant in an individualistic culture like the United States. Bosses are advised to praise their employees publicly but to offer criticism in private.