Love from a to Z

continues to be, because sometimes I bring her up in my head, the things
she told me, that we talked about, when I need to figure new things out in
my life now. Like my MS and stuff.”

---

I don’t know why, but I teared up on hearing that and then nodded, and
he nodded, teary-eyed too, and we worked quietly side by side for a long
while.
And I was so glad he’d be talking to my parents soon, because I just
wanted to wrap my arms around him.
• • •
Somewhere in the soothing rhythms of painting and attaching the small
pieces Adam had made over the years to add to the room, I told him all
about Fencer.
At the end of it, he looked like he wanted to wrap his arms around me.

---

ADAM
THURSDAY, MARCH 21
MARVEL:
CONNECTIONS
W
E’D WORKED ALL DAY YESTERDAY,
Zayneb, Ms. Raymond, and me, breaking for lunch
together, and then dinner with Dad and Hanna, who’d returned from an
entire day spent at the beach. They’d been there with the one friend of
Hanna’s who had remained at our neighborhood compound for spring
break.
With the work we’d done, the room was half-alive.
I’d woken up this morning energized to add the finishing touches—the
ones I hadn’t wanted to add with Zayneb there, the ones I wanted her to be
surprised by.
But first I had to say good-bye to Connor, who was flying back to college
in California.
We met at our favorite burger place near DIS, the one with the old-timey
jukebox.
He dropped coins in the machine, and “Stand by Me” flooded the place.
“Fill me in on what’s next for you,” he said, sliding into the seat across
from me, a triple-patty sandwich waiting for him on a tray.
“I’m finishing the room I started downstairs. Then I’m going to spend a
bit of time here in Doha before I go see my grandparents, both sets, in
Canada. And then, maybe . . .” I paused to take a bite of my cheeseburger
and to consider how to tell him my decision. By the time I finished
chewing, I’d worked it out. I’d just say it. “Go see Zayneb. In Indiana.”
He took a long sip of his drink before chuckling. “Okay, this is the best.
My man Adam finding his girl.”
“Do me a favor?” I picked up a couple of fries and dunked them into the
container of ketchup. “Keep this news out of the group chat? There was

---

some mix-up, and Zayneb told Emma P. there was nothing between us. I
don’t want Emma to think she was lying.”
“It’s in the vault.” He ate his burger, moving his head to the music in
between bites. “What about with your MS? You’ve got a treatment plan
worked out?”
“That’s Friday. I’m going to the neurologist.” I finished eating my fries.
“How about you? You staying in your program?”
“Yeah, Nancy’s going to help me figure things out. When you go to
Vancouver, see if you can catch a flight to Berkeley. I want to see you, and
maybe you can meet her. Nancy.”
“Adding California to the jet-setting itinerary.”
“I’ll try to get the others to come too. Because, you know, none of our
crew is coming back here, right? For the summer?”
I reached into my pocket. “Hey, I got you a Steam gift card.”
I dropped the plastic card, loaded with money redeemable for use on the
gaming site, in the middle of the table.
“Why?” Connor reached for it. “Whoa, that’s a lot. Why’d you do that? It
better not be a thank-you thing, man.”
“No way. It’s so we can talk,” I said, undoing the seam of my empty fries
sleeve, to flatten it and fold it. “You play, we talk? Every Sunday?”
He looked at me, then down at my hands origami-ing the box. “Will you
play the songs I request then? On your guitar?”
“Yep.” I took another bite of my burger, and he got up and added more
money to the jukebox.
“Scarborough Fair” accompanied our plans to meet up in California.
• • •
Dad took Hanna out to buy her birthday decorations, and as soon as they
left, I went downstairs to finish.
I hesitated only briefly before climbing the ladder, nail gun in hand.
My hands moved methodically, spacing the lights so that they
crisscrossed the ceiling in a weave.
When I was done, I felt a tingling in my arms that I told myself was
fatigue.
But I put the nail gun down and decided to finish the rest tomorrow
morning.

---

Early, before Hanna woke up for her birthday.
• • •
My method for not thinking of Zayneb leaving was prepping to see her
again in the summer. I’d already worked out with my grandparents on Dad’s
side that I’d stay with them on my own, as well as when Dad reached
Vancouver with Hanna, and then go on to Ottawa to spend two weeks with
my other grandparents. After which I hoped to add a trip to Indiana. And
California in between somewhere.
I was on the couch looking up flight costs for these trips, jotting down
notes in my marvels journal, when I got a message from Zayneb.