Love from a to Z

MARVEL ONE:
CONNOR
Yeah, Connor. Because when he’d thrown out random songs for me to play
on the guitar, he interspersed them with repeated requests of “Leaves from
the Vine.” From Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Because it was the first song that I’d ever learned.
The first one I picked up a guitar for.
He knew this and remembered it, and it was like the I love you, man that
I’d needed today.
MARVEL TWO:
HANNA
Because the minute she got home, she came up to check on me.
MARVEL THREE:
BLUE SKIES
What I meant was Zayneb, because that sky had reminded me of her so fast,
and now she was still in my head.

---

ZAYNEB
TUESDAY, MARCH 19
ODDITY . . . AND MARVEL:
PLOTTERS
K
ATARA TURNED OUT TO BE
magical. We arrived at the golden hour, with the sun setting,
and it was like stepping back in time, into another world, pristine and
protected.
The first thing we saw was the dazzling mosque, covered with geometric
designs and calligraphy in dark and light blues, interspersed with gold.
Two pigeon towers stood in front of it. I couldn’t stop staring at the birds
going in and out of the holes that ran up and down the tall, clay, conelike
structures, with wooden perches sticking out in a pattern.
Auntie Nandy took my hand and led me to a bench, and we sat there for a
long time, watching.
Something about it was like floating in the pool. So I let go.
• • •
We spent time wandering around the cultural village completely constructed
to look like cities from another era, especially the cities of the Muslim
golden ages in Baghdad, Timbuktu, and Spain, with small galleries and
cafés and petite museums and restaurants and symmetrical gardens.
It was like we’d left our era.
It felt like a sanctuary.
“I love this,” I said to Auntie Nandy, indicating the water flowing in neat
streams at the edges of the buildings, where the foundation met the paved
stone path, the sound providing just the right amount of melody, soothing
and calm. “Can we sit here, too?”

---

“Of course.” Auntie Nandy pointed at a bench. “We’ll need to be at the
amphitheater in fifteen minutes, so we’ve got a bit of time.”
Once we sat, I leaned on Auntie Nandy, and she put her arm around me.
“You know you and I are alike, right?” Auntie Nandy asked. “You got
your can’t-be-a-bystander genes from me.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I figured that.”
“That means I can be firm in what I’m about to say, Zayneb, and you
have to listen to me like it’s you telling you. Okay?” She waited until I
agreed before continuing, her voice solemn. “You need to have a way to
take care of yourself. A way to recharge. Otherwise the world will get you
down so fast, you won’t be able to hold your head up. I learned this the hard
way.”
“I know how to take care of myself, Auntie Nandy. I’m about to go to
college.”
“I mean, like this. Like sitting here listening to the water. Like looking at
the birds earlier. Like sitting in a tub with fizzy bath bombs.”
I couldn’t stop myself. “But not like smoking, right? Or boozing? From
the bin?”
She tilted her head to try to look at me. After catching that first glimpse
of her expression, I kept my Slytherin head securely down against her and
my mouth clenched tight in an attempt not to laugh.
“Zayneb. Did you go through my stuff? Without me?”
“It was an accident. I was trying to be a good host to the Emmas.”
“Oh no, did they see?” Auntie Nandy let go of me, and I looked up,
worried she was angry at me.
“No, no, don’t worry—they didn’t,” I assured her quickly. “Nobody
looked in the bin except me.”
She sighed and put her hands in the pockets of the dress she was wearing.
“Actually, I’m glad you’re bringing that up. It goes with my point; you need
to find healthy ways to center yourself. Otherwise, you’ll dip into the bin
too much.”
“I’m sorry, Auntie Nandy, for looking too deeply into it, into the bin.” I
hugged her to emphasize my apology. “I call it the bin of sin.”
She laughed. “True, that it is. I try to keep myself away from that bin of
sin. Sometimes I lapse. But you’d better never.”
“My bin of sin would have a ton of macarons and cream puffs. Only
French pastries.”

---

“Well, isn’t that snobby.” She stood up. “Let’s get going? It’s a bit of a
walk to the amphitheater.”
As the sun descended, the sky turned yellowish-pinkish-purplish blue.
It was such a breathtaking walk to the open-air concert that I arrived with
a bit of space opened in my heart.
• • •
We got spots directly across from the stage, not too high up, with Auntie
Nandy’s friends, three teachers from DIS, just in front of us.
Auntie Nandy pointed out how we could see the water far off in the
distance, behind the stage, as she put her purse on the bench beside her.
“Can I borrow your bag too?”
“Why?” I passed it to her.
“Saving some seats for a few more friends coming.” She set my purse
down. “They’re on the way over from the mosque. The one we saw when
we first entered Katara. So it may take them a while.”
The friends arrived just as the orchestra began the second song, “Can You
Feel the Love Tonight” from The Lion King.
I looked to my left and into the eyes of Adam, following his sister and his
dad, as they made their way to their spots beside us.
• • •
As the song ended, I looked toward my purse, on the other side of Auntie
Nandy, and when I glanced up, Adam smiled at me.
I’m not going to lie.
It set something fluttering in me.
Maybe it was because he was dressed differently. A black polo shirt and
jeans.
A black polo shirt with a collar.
I reached over and brought my purse to me, brought my phone to me.
He’d already messaged me.
Now I’ll get to say sorry in person.
As “Let It Go” began, I tilted myself to make sure Auntie Nandy couldn’t
see my phone.
Maybe I will too.
May I suggest something?
Yes?

---

Let it go.
I leaned back to look at him from behind Auntie Nandy’s and Hanna’s
and his dad’s heads, to groan at his corniness.
But he had leaned forward to look at me.
Then we switched and missed each other again.
Auntie Nandy looked at me. But it was with a Slytherin-like smile.
“Did you plot this in some way? Him being here?” I whispered to her.
“Shh, people are trying to listen,” she said, the sly smile lingering on her
face. “Little kids are singing and dancing. And some kids are falling in
love.”
“Auntie Nandy, stop,” I whispered again, making the mistake of looking
his way.
He shot me another smile.
I’d never seen him look so happy.
He was bursting with it, and it suited him so well.
In all ways.
The things I’d read about MS flooded my brain just then.
Because I hadn’t only been researching drones and warfare.
I’d also been reading about Adam’s disease.
How it didn’t need to be a death sentence.
And while I was reading, I’d been itching to tell him what I’d found.
He needed to know, he needed to see that there was hope ahead, so I
smiled back at him.
And he sent me a rose emoji.
• • •
We sat through the Star Wars theme, and then he got up and left the
amphitheater.
I waited for a while. Then I did too.

---