Activity: Make a list of the strengths you bring to your friendships or to the people in your life, includ-
ing any from the list above. Give yourself credit for these positive attributes.
Creating Change. List the things you would like to work on that you think would make it easier for you to make
and keep friends. Acknowledging that you want to improve and reminding yourself of this desire from time to
time will create the personal change you are seeking. Ask your family members and friends to support you
in these efforts. You may want to ask a health care professional for additional advice and support. Self-help
books will give you ideas for creating this change. Of most importance is your determination to change. Re-
member that everyone has areas that need improvement. Change takes time. Pat yourself on the back for your
efforts.
Activity: Think of a time when you created some change in your life that made your life better.
Life circumstances that make friendships difficult. Factors over which neither you nor the other person
have any control can make it difficult to be friends. You may want to be friends or closer friends, but one of
these issues may get in the way —
illness
distance
stress
overwork
fear
financial problems or poverty
differences in expectations
extreme differences in interests
lack of transportation
It is important to acknowledge these difficulties, but don’t give up on the friendship if you don’t want to! These
factors are challenging, but not impossible! Some factors must simply be accepted—such as distance, and
others you can work on changing—such as fear or overwork. For example, a woman in her fifties has been
very close friends most of her life with a woman she first met at camp when she was a child. Now they live in
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