Me Before You: a novel

Hi—I am the friend/caregiver of a 35 yo C5-6 quadriplegic. He was very successful
and dynamic in his former life and is having trouble adjusting to his new one. In fact,
I know that he does not want to live, and I am trying to think of ways of changing his
mind. Please could anyone tell me how I could do this? Any ideas for things he
might enjoy, or ways I could get him to think differently? All advice gratefully
received.
I called myself Busy Bee. Then I sat back in my chair, chewed at
my thumbnail for a bit, and finally pressed Send.
When I sat down at the terminal the next morning, I had fourteen
answers. I logged into the chat room, and blinked as I saw the list of
names, the responses that had come from people worldwide,
throughout the day and night. The first one said:
Dear Busy Bee,
Welcome to our board. I’m sure your friend will gain a lot of comfort from having
someone looking out for him.
I’m not so sure about that, I thought.
Most of us on here have hit a definite hump at some point in our lives. It may be
that your friend has hit his. Don’t let him push you away. Stay positive. And remind
him that it is not his place to decide when we enter and depart this world, but that of
the Lord. He decided to change your friend’s life, in His own wisdom, and there may
be a lesson in it that He—
I scanned down to the next one.

---

Dear Bee,
There is no way around it, being a quad can suck. If your guy was a bit of a player
too, then he is going to find it extra hard. These are the things that helped me. A lot
of company, even when I didn’t feel like it. Good food. Good docs. Good meds,
depression meds when necessary. You didn’t say where you were based, but if you
can get him talking to others in the SCI community it may help. I was pretty
reluctant at first (I think some part of me didn’t want to admit I was actually a quad)
but it does help to know you’re not alone out there.
Oh, and DON’T let him watch any films like The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
Major downer!
Let us know how you get on.
All best,
Ritchie
I looked up The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. “The story of a man
who suffers a paralyzing stroke, and his attempts to communicate
with the outside world,” the Web site said. I wrote the title down on
my pad, uncertain whether I was doing so to make sure Will avoided
it or to remind myself to watch it.
The next two responses were from a Seventh-day Adventist and
a man whose suggested ways in which I could cheer Will up were
certainly not covered by my working contract. I blushed and hurriedly
scrolled down, afraid that someone might glance at the screen from
behind me. And then I hesitated on the next reply.
Hi Busy Bee,
Why do you think your friend/charge/whatever needs his mind changed? If I could
work out a way of dying with dignity, and if I didn’t know it would devastate my
family, I would take it. I have been stuck in this chair eight years now, and my life is
a constant round of humiliations and frustrations. Can you really put yourself in his
shoes? Do you know how it feels to not even be able to empty your bowels without
help? To know that forever after you are going to be stuck in your bed unable to eat,
dress, communicate with the outside world without someone to help you? To never
have sex again? To face the prospect of sores and ill health and even ventilators?
You sound like a nice person, and I’m sure you mean well. But it may not be you