Me Before You: a novel

particles of him would become tiny particles of me, ingested,
swallowed, alive, perpetual. I wanted to press every bit of me against
him. I wanted to will something into him. I wanted to give him every
bit of life I felt and force him to live.
I realized I was afraid of living without him. How is it you have the
right to destroy my life, I wanted to demand of him, but I’m not
allowed a say in yours?
But I had promised.
So I held him, Will Traynor, ex–financial whiz kid, ex–stunt diver,
sportsman, traveler, lover. I held him close and said nothing, all the
while telling him silently that he was loved. Oh, but he was loved.
I couldn’t say how long we stayed like that. I was dimly aware of
soft conversation outside, of the shuffle of shoes, a distant church
bell ringing in some far-off place. Finally, I felt him loosen a great
breath, almost a shudder, and he drew his head back just an inch so
that we could see each other clearly.
I blinked at him.
He gave me a small smile, almost an apology.
“Clark,” he said, quietly. “Can you call my parents in?”

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27
CROWN PROSECUTION SERVICE 
FAO: DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC PROSECUTIONS 
CONFIDENTIAL ADVISORY
RE: WILLIAM JOHN TRAYNOR
9.4.2009
Detectives have now interviewed everyone involved in the above
case, and I attach files containing all related documents accordingly.
The subject at the center of the investigation is Mr. William
Traynor, a thirty-five-year-old former partner in the firm Madingley
Lewins, based in the City of London. Mr. Traynor suffered a spinal
injury in a road accident in 2007 and had been diagnosed C5-6
quadriplegic with very limited movement in one arm only, requiring
twenty-four-hour care. His medical history is attached.
The papers show that Mr. Traynor had been at pains to regularize
his legal affairs sometime before his trip to Switzerland. We have
been forwarded a signed and witnessed statement of intent by his
lawyer, Mr. Michael Lawler, as well as copies of all relevant
documentation relating to his consultations with the clinic
beforehand.
Mr. Traynor’s family and friends had all expressed their
opposition to his stated desire to end his life prematurely but given
his medical history and previous attempt on his own life (detailed in
his attached hospital records), his intellect and strength of character,
they were apparently unable to dissuade him, even during an
extended six-month period which was negotiated with him
specifically for this purpose.
It will be noted that one of the beneficiaries of Mr. Traynor’s will is
his paid female caregiver, Miss Louisa Clark. Given the limited length
of her association with Mr. Traynor some questions may be asked

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about the extent of his generosity toward her, but all parties say they
do not wish to contest Mr. Traynor’s stated wishes, which are legally
documented. She has been interviewed at length several times and
police are satisfied that she made every effort to deter Mr. Traynor
from his intention (please see her “calendar of adventures” included
in the evidence).
It should also be noted that Mrs. Camilla Traynor, his mother, who
has been a respected JP for many years, has tendered her
resignation in light of the publicity surrounding the case. It is
understood that she and Mr. Traynor separated soon after their son’s
death.
While the use of assisted suicide at foreign clinics is not
something the CPS can be seen to encourage, judging by the
evidence gathered, it is evident that the actions of Mr. Traynor’s
family and caregivers fall well within current guidelines as laid out
relating to assisted suicide and the possible prosecution of those
close to the deceased.
Mr. Traynor was deemed competent and had a “voluntary, clear,
settled, and informed” wish to make such a decision.
There is no evidence of mental illness, or of coercion on any