Microsoft Word Marriage Guide doc

Source: 
www.al-islamforall@org
 
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'Whom shall I appeal to?' he asked her one day, during one of the long conversations 
that they had each time the angel Gabriel appeared to him. 'Who will believe in me?' 
Happy to see that he no longer doubted his new mission, Khadijah exclaimed. 'At least you 
can call on me before all others. For I believe in you!' The Prophet (P.B.U.H) was very 
joyful, and recited the shahada to Khadijah, and Khadijah believed. (Tabari, Annals, II, 
209.) 
He never took another wife while she lived, and even after her death he never 
forgot her or ceased to love her. Their marriage had lasted twenty-five years. 
There are several touching traditions which show the Prophet (P.B.U.H) being 
deeply affected and moved to tears when he heard her sister Halah's voice, which sounded 
so much like hers, or saw something which had once belonged to her. 
The Prophet's next beloved, A'ishah, recorded: 'Although I had never met Khadijah, I 
was never more jealous of anyone than her.' Once, when Khadijah's sister Halah came to 
visit the Prophet (P.B.U.H), and called from outside for permission to enter, he trembled, 
being reminded of Khadijah, for the two sisters had very similar voices. 'It must be Halah,' 
he said. A'ishah said, 'Why do you keep thinking of that elderly woman who has been dead 
for so long, when Allah has given you such good wives?' 'No, no, no,' the Prophet (P.B.U.H) 
answered, 'I was given no finer wife than he- She believed in me when everyone else 
believed me; when they denied me she became a Muslim; when no-one would help me, she 
was my help. I had my children from her.' And he asserted, `Allah gave me my love for her.' 
After that, A'ishah resolved never to take hurt from Khadijah's memory. 
He grieved for her for a long time, and was eventually persuaded to take other wives 
by his friends, and especially by his aunt Khawlah, who was distressed to see him so sad and 
lonely. Khawlah visited him one day and found him getting on with tile domestic chores, 
washing the dishes with his four young daughters. Moved to pity, she urged him to take a 
companion to look after his household affairs. 
When he did finally remarry, at first love did not enter into it. Like most leaders in 
Arabia in his day, he chose his next two wives for practical and political reasons rather than 
for their sexual charms. Sawdah was an old friend, one of the first Muslims, and the widow 
of his friend Sakran, the brother of Suhayl. She was a homely, chubby, tall woman slightly 
older than himself-he was fifty-two, she fifty-five-the ideal person to look after his domestic 
arrangements and bring up his four motherless daughters. A'ishah, his third wife, the daugh-
ter of his best friend. By marrying them the Blessed Prophet forged important links of 
kinship with the tribes of Suhayl and Abu Bakr. 
Later, of course, we know that he came to love A'ishah very much indeed, and 
when she became old enough the relationship became physical. He was never particularly 
attracted to Sawdah, on the other hand, although they were good friends; later, she was 
quite content to let A'ishah have 'her' night with him. 
Those who are surprised that the Prophet (P.B.U.H) could marry a six year old child 
forget that it was quite normal in both Arab and Jewish society for betrothals to be made 
for tiny children, even at birth, and for the little girls to enter their future husbands' 
households long before their marriages were consummated. One presumes that it was 
precisely this arrangement that Joseph the Carpenter of Nazareth undertook when he lived 
with the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus (P.B.U.H) Physical intimacy would not begin until the 
girl was old enough, usually at around the age of thirteen to fourteen, as in A'ishah's case. 
Once, the Blessed Prophet's companion Amr ibn al-As asked him which person he 
loved most in the world, expecting him to name one of the heroic young warriors. 
To his surprise, the Prophet replied straight away: 'A'ishah.' (Zarkashi, al-Ijaba, 
52.) 
A'ishah herself recorded a touching detail that indicated his love: 'After I ate one 
part of the meat on a bone, I used to hand it to the Prophet (P.B.U.H), who would bite the 
morsel from the place where I had bitten. Similarly, when I used to offer him something to 
drink after drinking a part, he would drink from the place I had put my lips.' (Muslim.) 
The Muslim Marriage Guide: Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

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