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Remember the Rule of 21

As I wrote in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, it takes about 21 days to develop a new habit. Yet most people give up on creating a positive life change after only the first few days when they experience the stress and pain that is always associated with replacing old behaviors with new ones. New habits are much like a new pair of shoes: for the first few days, they will feel uncomfortable. But if you break them in for about three weeks, they will fit a second skin.
As human beings, we are genetically programmed to resist change and maintain a state of equilibrium.
The condition, known as homeostasis, evolved naturally over time as a means by which our ancestors could survive constantly changing conditions. The problem is that the mechanism works to keep things as they are even when more favorable possibilities exist. And that is why we have such difficulty adopting new habits and overcoming the gravitational forces that prevent us from moving to higher levels of living.
But just as a rocket uses more fuel during the first few minutes after lift – off than it does over the days that follow when it will cover more than half a million miles, once you get past those first 21 days you will find that staying on course with a new habit will be far easier than you imagined. Take the time to study your personal habits and promise to make the necessary changes. The quality of your life will be determined in large measure by the nature of your habits. John Dryden observed, “We first make our habits and then our habits make us.” While Virginia Woolf wrote, “the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame.” So ensure that your habits move you forward rather than hold you back. In the timeless words of Publilius Syrus, “Powerful indeed is the empire of habit.”

Practice Forgiveness

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is actually a selfish act rather than a selfless one. Letting go of the hostility and hatred that you may have allowed to bottle up inside you is actually something you do for yourself rather than for the benefit of the other person. As I teach in my life – coaching programs, when you bear a grudge against someone, it is almost as if you carry that person around on your back with you. He drains you of your energy, enthusiasm and peace of mind. But the moment you forgive him, you get him off your back and you can move on with the rest of the world.
Mark Twain wrote that, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that crushed it.” Forgiveness is a great act of spirit and personal courage. It is also one of the best ways to elevate the quality of your life. I have discovered that every minute you devote to thinking about someone who has wronged you is a minute you have stolen from a much worthier pursuit: attracting those people who will help you.