Minutes a day n e w y o r k

Assessment
On a scale of 1–5, this essay received a 5. It shows an insightful understanding of the assignment. The writer chose
a strong example of an influential person, and then skillfully developed her ideas with specific examples. We learn
much about Grandma, and the writer constantly connects these details back to the main idea: that Grandma had
a huge impact on her life in three major areas. The writer shows an excellent command of language. There are no
grammatical errors, and she varies her sentence structure to make the reading interesting and enjoyable. This essay
fully addresses all areas of the rubric in a strong way and is a good example of clear competence in writing.
Response #2
When someone comes into our lives for a long time, he or she leaves a footprint on our soul. I would say the biggest
footprint in my soul comes from my little brother, Mario. Even though we’ve never had a conversation, Mario is a
very big influence for three main reasons.
Mario is a peaceful person. He has a brain disease called lissencephaly. That happens when the brain is not
bumpy and grooved like it’s supposed to be. He has been like this from birth, and there’s no cure. But Mario is
like a little angel. He sits in his wheelchair and plays with his toys. Even though he is 8 years old, he can’t walk
or talk. But he has an inner peace that shines in his eyes. He never seems to worry about anything. He hardly
ever cries or gets upset. He isn’t impatient like the rest of us. He just takes each day, each hour, each minute
as it comes. He has taught me about being peaceful no matter what is going on around me.
–