Opinion essay: correction = pink

DOUBLE QUESTION ESSAY:

TOPIC: MANY SCHOOLS HAVE IMPLEMENTED COMPULSORY UNIFORMS. WHY IS THIS? IT IS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT?

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  DISADVANTAGE: EFFECT ON STUDENTS SELF-IMAGE
  
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  ADVANTAGE: FOCUS MORE ON EDUCATION
  

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  INTRODUCTION: ACCORDING TO SCHOOL RULES, EVERY STUDENT IS OBLIGED TO WEAR THE SAME OUTFITS THERE. ALTHOUGH SUCH RULES MAY NEGATIVELY EFFECT (AFFECT) STUDENT’S SELF-IMAGE, I BELIEVE THAT THEY MUST WEAR UNIFORMS TO FOCUS MORE ON EDUCATION RATHER THAN CLOTHES.
  

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  TOPIC SENTENCE 1: THE MAIN DISADVANTAGE OF THE UNIFORM SYSTEM AT SCHOOLS IS THAT IT MAY HAVE A NEGATIVE INFLUICE ON STUDENTS SELF-CONCEPT.THIS IS BECAUSE SCHOOL UNIFORMS DO NOT FOLLOW ANY OF CURRENT FASHION TRENDS AND OFTEN THEYHAVE BEEN THE SAME FOR GENERATIONS. SOMETIMES SCHOOLCHILDREN FEEL THAT UNIFORM COLOR AND STYLES ARE TOO OLD-FASHIONED. EMBARRASSMENT CAN OCCUR WHEN STUDENTS ARE FORCED TO WEAR THE SAME OUTFITS, RATHER THAN BEING ALLOWED TO SELECT CLOTHES THAT SUIT BODY.
  

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  TOPIC SENTENCE 2: DESPITE CAUSING PROBLEM ON THEIR SELF-IMAGE, I THINK THE REGULATIONS SHOULD BE IMPLEMENTED AS THEY LEAD THEM TO PAY MORE AS MUCH ATTENTION AS POSSIBLE (TWICE AS MUCH ATTENTION) ON SUBJECTS THAN OUTFITS.THIS IS WHEN ALL STUDENTS WEAR THE SAME CLOTHES THEY ARE LESS CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK AND HOW THEY FIT IN WITH THEIR PEERS. SCHOOL UNIFORMS ALSO PROMOTES SCHOOL SPIRIT AND MAKE STUDENTS FEEL THEY ALL BELONG TOGETHER. IT HELPS THEM TO FUNCTION AS A TEAM AND MAKES THEM SPEND ALL ENERGY, SO THAT THEY CAN CONCENTRATE ON THEIR SCHOOLWORK AND UNIFROMS PROVIDE THEM WITH LESS DISTRATION.