Permanent Record

5.22.2013
Stopped in at K-Mart to get a lei. Trying to welcome Wendy with proper
aloha spirit, but I’m pissed. Ed’s been planning his mother’s visit for
weeks. He’s the one who invited her. I was hoping he’d be there when I
woke up this morning. On the drive back to Waipahu from the airport
Wendy was worried. She’s not used to him having to go away on a
moment’s notice. I tried to tell her this was usual. But it was usual when
we lived overseas, not in Hawaii, and I can’t remember any other time
that Ed was away and wasn’t in touch. We went to a nice dinner to
distract ourselves and Wendy talked about how she thought Ed was on
medical leave. It didn’t make any sense to her that he’d be called away
for work while on medical leave. The moment we got home Wendy

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went to bed. I checked my phone and found I had three missed calls
from an unknown number, and one missed call from a long foreign
number, no voicemails. I Googled the long foreign number. Ed must be
in Hong Kong.
5.24.2013
Wendy was home all day alone, thoughts just running circles in her
brain. I feel bad for her and can only console myself by thinking how Ed
would handle having to entertain my own mother by himself. Over
dinner, Wendy kept asking me about Ed’s health, which I guess is
understandable, given her own history of epilepsy. She said she’s
worried that he had another seizure, and then she started crying, and
then I started crying. I’m just realizing that I’m worried too. But instead
of epilepsy, I’m thinking, What if he’s off having an affair? Who is she?
Just try and get through this visit and have a good time. Take a puddle
jumper to the Big Island. To Kilauea, the volcano, as planned. Once
Wendy goes back, reassess things.
6.3.2013
Brought Wendy to the airport, to fly back to MD. She didn’t want to go
back, but she has work. I took her as far as I could go and hugged her. I
didn’t want to let go of the hug. Then she got in line for security. Came
home to find Ed’s Skype status has changed to: “Sorry but it had to be
done.” I don’t know when he changed it. Could’ve been today, could’ve
been last month. I just checked on Skype and happened to notice it, and
I’m crazy enough to think he’s sending me a message.