Reclaim Your Heart

W
HY
 A
REN’T
 M
Y
 P
RAYERS
 B
EING
A
NSWERED
?
Question: Why aren’t my prayers being answered?
Answer: May Allah reward you for asking such an honest
question, and may He guide us towards the truth. Ameen.
I think what happens in this type of situation is that we mix
up our means and our ends. When we make du`a’ for a
good husband, for example, is that strong marriage a
means or an end? I think many people take it as an end,
which explains much of the disillusionment and
disappointment that often follows (ironically in both
cases: whether we get it or we don’t). Like everything in
this dunya, marriage is only a means—a means to reach
Allah. So if we pray for it and we don’t get it, perhaps
Allah has chosen another means for us—perhaps through
hardship, the purification it may cause and the sabr it
builds, to bring us to that end: Allah. It may be, as only
Allah knows best, that had He given us that amazing
husband we made du`a’ for, it would have made us
heedless and therefore not achieve our end at all.
Instead of seeing it like this, however, I think the problem
is, we are seeing things as just the opposite. The dunya
(that great job, certain type of spouse, having a child,
school, career, etc.) is our end and *Allah* is the means
that we use to get there. We use that means, through

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making du`a’, to achieve our end (whatever it is that
we’re making du`a’ for), and then get disappointed when
our means (Allah) didn’t come through for us. We throw
our hands up in the air and say our du`a’ are not being
answered. Our means just isn’t coming through for us!
But, Allah isn’t a means. He is the end. The ultimate
objective of even du`a’ itself is to build our connection to
Allah. Through du`a’ we become closer to Him. So, I
think the problem is that our focus is wrong. That’s why I
love the du`a’ of istikhara so much. It’s just perfect
because it acknowledges that Allah only knows best, and
then asks for Him to bring what is best and take away what
is not best. The focus of that du`a’ is not that which you
are asking for. The focus is what is best in this life and
next. This is not to say that we cannot make du`a’ for
things specifically that we want. On the contrary, Allah
loves for us to ask of Him. But it means that once we ask,
do our part to the utmost, and put our trust in Allah, we are
pleased with what Allah chooses for us. And we realize
that Allah answers all du`a’ - but not always in the form
we expect. And that is simply because our knowledge is
limited, and His is unlimited. In His infinite knowledge He
may send us what He knows to be better for us in
achieving the ultimate end: the pleasure of Allah (swt).
Wa Allahu `alam (and Allah knows best).

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