Shepherding a Child's Heart

Rebellion
The teenage years are often years of rebellion. Some of the
rebellion is simply a misguided attempt to establish individuality. But
often, teenage rebellion has deeper roots. In some kids, it is an
expression of rebellion that has been latent all along.
Parents sometimes fail to see this. I have spoken with scores of
parents who attributed rebellion to the fact the family had moved, or
their kids took up with new friends, or they started listening to certain
forms of music. While we would readily acknowledge that a family
move can be traumatic and that friends can have a negative influence
and that some music expresses rebellion, the problem runs deeper
than that.
I recall watching a father correct his fourth-grade son. The son
was reproved (in front of others) and forced to obey his father. While
he obeyed, the grimace on his face disclosed his anger and deep
hostility toward his dad. What kept him from open rebellion at that

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time? Simply this: He was too young and still too intimidated by his
dad to dare express the anger he felt. It showed only in his scowl.
Years later, this lad rebelled. He did take up with evil companions.
He did listen to antisocial music. But the seeds of rebellion were not
sown by rebellious friends. His defiant ideas did not begin with the
antisocial lyrics of a pop tune. The rebellion of his heart was an
expression of the many times he suffered the indignities of public
reproof.
I am always amazed at how quickly defiant teens find each other.
The rebellious teen who is new to a school will find the fellow rebels
before the first recess. Why is this? A teen falls in with rebellious
company because he is a rebel. He does not become a rebel because of
the company he keeps.
I am persuaded that rebellious kids may embolden each other, but
rarely does a teen who in his heart is willing to submit become
rebellious by virtue of the influence of another.
While a child is young, he may feel rebellious at times. He may
express defiance on occasion. As long as he is very young and totally
dependent upon Mom and Dad, he cannot openly rebel. He still needs
Mom and Dad. They still have too much power. However, once he can
imagine living on his own without his parents, he begins to give
expression to his rebellion. Parents often seem to be taken by
surprise, when actually the rebellion has been dormant for years.