Shepherding a Child's Heart

Chapter 15
Infancy to Childhood: Training Procedures
We used to observe cyclical patterns in the behavior of our
children. Every few months, they would become unruly. They weren’t
in actual rebellion, but their obedience was sluggish. There was a
growing delay between receiving our direction and responding.
We would redouble our efforts. We would be more precise in
giving direction. We would be more consistent about discipline. We
would quit reminding, pleading, and snapping. We would return to
basics—speaking once and expecting obedience—disciplining if
obedience was not forthcoming.
Overnight, our home would become peaceful again. The children
would be happy and obedient. We would be more patient. We would
feel more successful as parents.
One day it dawned on us! We produced the cycles. When things
went well, we became lax. Eventually, the deterioration in our
children’s behavior would become painfully obvious. We would
respond with renewed courage and effort.
In order to teach your children to be under authority, you must be
prepared to discipline disobedience. Consistency is mandated if your
children are to learn that God requires obedience.
Disobedience coupled with failure to discipline sends mixed
messages. On the one hand, you say they must obey. You tell them
that temporal and eternal well-being is attached to obedience. On the
other hand, you accept disobedience and tolerate behavior that places
them at risk.
Recall with me the chart from the last chapter. In Ephesians 6:1–3,

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God’s ways form a circle of submission to parental authority.
Submission to parents means honoring and obeying. Within that
circle is blessing and long life. As soon as your child steps out of that
circle of safety, he needs to be rescued from the danger of stubborn
independence from your authority. Your authority represents God’s
authority. (Remember, you function as agents of God.) The rescue
squad is Mom or Dad, armed with the methods God has given—
namely the rod and communication.
In these early years of childhood, the rod is primary. It is primary
because God has commanded it. Remember, God says that “Folly is
bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it
far from him” (Proverbs 22:15).
A young child does not give proper weight to words alone. His
attention is secured when those words are punctuated by a sound
spanking.