Shepherding a Child's Heart

The “Why” of Spanking
The “why” is that God commands it. Additionally, spanking
enables you to deal with issues of the heart. Remember, the heart
directs behavior. Discipline addresses the heart. It does not focus on
behavior alone.
Bad behavior represents a failure to obey and is, therefore, the
occasion for correction—but the focal point of correction is not
behavior. The focal point is the heart of the child that is called to
submission to God’s authority. The goal of correction is not simply to
modify behavior, but to bring the child to sweet, harmonious, and
humble heart submission to God’s will that he obey Mom and Dad.
The heart is the battleground. The spanking comes only because it is
God’s method of driving foolishness far from your child’s heart.
While you have an eye on the here and now, you know that there is
more at stake. Where will your child be 30 years from now if no one
ever challenges his determination to do whatever he wants whenever
he wants? What kind of husband will he be if he refuses to submit to
God’s rule? What kind of employee will he be if he never learns to
submit to authority?
Where will your grandchildren be 50 years from now if the
foolishness bound up in your child’s heart is never driven away? How
will your child ever see his need of Christ’s forgiveness and grace if
he never faces the native rebellion of his nature and his inability to
obey God from the heart?

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Frequently Asked Questions 
As I have taught in many places around the world about
shepherding toddlers, the following questions are often asked.
What is a Spanking Issue?
In this stage when you are teaching children to be people under
authority, spanking should be reserved for issues of defiance—failure
to honor and failure to obey. When dealing with a toddler, it is less
important that he remember the house rules. You should be willing to
tell him every time you place him in the highchair that he cannot
throw his food on the floor. You certainly don’t want to discipline for
childishness. Children are clumsy and they lack mature judgment.
They are going to knock things over and break them. Accidents due to
clumsiness are not an occasion to spank.
With young children you must keep the focus very crisp; spank
only for defiance. As children get older, it is fair to have some issues
that are house rules. If you do not allow sliding down the bannister or
leaping from the bannister to the sofa, it is fair to expect a school-age
child to remember such things. It would be appropriate to deal with
that as a spanking-for-disobedience issue.