Shepherding a Child's Heart

If I Follow Your Counsel, All I’ll Do Is Spank
It often seems to parents that such exactness regarding obedience
is asking too much of them and their children. The truth is, if parents
are consistent with discipline, they will find quickly that the child
responds and the necessity for discipline decreases.
Could it be that you are confronted with disobedience all day
because you tolerate it? As long as you are unwilling to require
precision in obedience you will have sloppy responses to your
directives. Consistency is the key.
There are long-term issues at stake. It is possible to get over the
obedience hurdle before your children are school-age. I pity parents
who spend their entire lives in contests over obeying, when authority
can be settled early in childhood.
There may be days in which nothing much gets done because of
the demands of consistent discipline. But, faithfulness will yield a
good harvest. It is possible to get beyond the authority issue. Basic
obedience does not have to be an issue in your home if you deal with
it in these early years. Consistency will enable you to avoid obedience
contests throughout your child’s life. It is possible to put this
problem behind you.
What If I’m Too Mad?
Every parent has felt blinding rage toward a misbehaving child.
This is a clear indicator that you are in no position to engage in
biblical discipline. When you are in a rage, you are not considering
issues of biblical correction. Your agenda is satisfying your own
sense of justice. If you’re not careful, you will pollute the process of
discipline with your unholy anger.
If you are a person who struggles with anger, you know it. If you
think you may be near a borderline, ask your spouse to handle any
required spanking. If you have a low flashpoint you must promise

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your children and your spouse: “I will never spank until I have gotten
alone with God to quiet my heart so that I can discipline in godly and
gracious ways.”
If you are too mad to discipline properly, instruct your child to
take a seat or go to his room. Then you must seek the face of God.
You must repent of your anger. You must remain before God until
you are able to deal with your child in integrity.
If, in the weakness and frailty of your flesh, you sin against your
children, you must seek their forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness is not
saying, “I am sorry that I got mad at you and yelled, but when you do
that … ” Seeking forgiveness is saying, “I am sorry. I sinned against
you. I was mad. I threw a temper fit. There is no justification for
behavior like that. Please forgive me.” When you give reasons for
your sin, you are not asking forgiveness, you are simply justifying
your sin.