The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Understand: Each of us sees the world through a particular lens
that colors and shapes our perceptions. Let us call this lens our
attitude. The great Swiss psychologist Carl Jung defined this in the
following way: “Attitude is a readiness of the psyche to act or react in a
certain way. . . . To have an attitude means to be ready for something
definite, even though this something is unconscious; for having an
attitude is synonymous with an a priori orientation to a definite
thing.”
What this means is the following: In the course of a day, our minds
respond to thousands of stimuli in the environment. Depending on the

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wiring of our brain and our psychological makeup, certain stimuli—
clouds in the sky, crowds of people—lead to stronger firings and
responses. The stronger the response, the more we pay attention. Some
of us are more sensitive to stimuli that others would mostly ignore. If
we are unconsciously prone to feelings of sadness, for whatever reason,
we are more likely to pick up signs that promote this feeling. If we have
a suspicious nature, we are more sensitive to facial expressions that
display any kind of possible negativity and to exaggerate what we
perceive. This is the “readiness of the psyche to . . . react in a certain
way.”
We are never conscious of this process. We merely experience the
aftereffects of these sensitivities and firings of the brain; they add up to
an overall mood or emotional background that we might call
depression, hostility, insecurity, enthusiasm, or adventurousness. We
experience many different moods, but in an overall sense we can say
that we have a particular way of seeing and interpreting the world,
dominated by one emotion or a blend of several, such as hostility and
resentment. This is our attitude. People with a largely depressive
attitude can feel moments of joy, but they are more disposed toward
experiencing sadness; they anticipate the feeling in their day-to-day
encounters.
Jung illustrates this idea in the following way: Imagine that on a
hike people come upon a brook that must be crossed to continue the
journey. One person, without much thought, will simply leap across,
touching a stone or two, not worried at all about possibly falling. He
loves the sheer physical pleasure of the jump and doesn’t care if he
fails. Another person is excited as well, but it has less to do with the
physical joy than with the mental challenge the brook represents. She
will quickly calculate the most effective means of crossing and will gain
satisfaction from figuring this out. Another person, of a cautious
nature, will take more time to think it through. He takes no pleasure in
the crossing; he is irritated by the obstruction, but he wants to
continue the hike and he will do his best to safely cross. A fourth will
simply turn back. She will see no need for crossing and will rationalize
her fears by saying the hike has been long enough.
No one simply sees or hears the rushing of water over rocks. Our
minds do not perceive just what is there. Each person sees and
responds to the same brook differently, according to their particular
attitude—adventurous, fearful, et cetera.

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The attitude that we carry with us throughout life has several roots:
First, we come into this world with certain genetic inclinations—
toward hostility, greed, empathy, or kindness. We can notice these
differences, for instance, in the case of the Chekhov children, who all
had to respond to the same physical punishments of the father. At a
very early age Anton revealed a more ironic attitude, prone to laughing
at the world and seeing things with some detachment. This made it
easier for him to reassess his father once he was on his own. The other
children lacked this ability to distance themselves and were more
easily enmeshed in the father’s brutality. This would seem to indicate
something different in the way Anton’s brain was wired. Some children
are greedier than others—they display from early on a greater need for
attention. They tend to always see what is missing, what they are not
getting from others.
Second, our earliest experiences and attachment schemas (see
chapter 4) play a large role in shaping the attitude. We internalize the
voices of the mother and father figure. If they were very authoritarian
and judgmental, we will tend to be harsher on ourselves than others
and have a more critical bent toward everything we see. Equally
important are the experiences we have outside the family, as we get
older. When we love or admire someone, we tend to internalize a part
of their presence, and they shape how we see the world in a positive
way. This could be teachers, mentors, or peers. Negative and traumatic
experiences can have a constricting effect—they close our minds off to
anything that might possibly make us reexperience the original pain.
Our attitude is constantly being shaped by what happens to us, but
vestiges of our earliest attitude always live on. No matter how far he
progressed, Chekhov remained susceptible to feelings of depression
and self-loathing.
What we must understand about the attitude is not only how it
colors our perceptions but also how it actively determines what
happens to us in life—our health, our relations with people, and our
success. Our attitude has a self-fulfilling dynamic.
Look again at the scenario of the young man in Paris. Feeling
somewhat tense and insecure, he reacts defensively to mistakes that he
makes in learning the language. This makes it harder for him to learn,
which in turn makes meeting people more difficult, which makes him
feel more isolated. The more his energy lowers from depression, the
more this cycle perpetuates itself. His insecurities can also push people

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away. The way we think about people tends to have a like effect upon
them. If we feel hostile and critical, we tend to inspire critical emotions
in other people. If we feel defensive, we make others feel defensive.
The attitude of the young man tends to lock him into this negative
dynamic.
The attitude of the young woman, on the other hand, triggers a
positive dynamic. She is able to learn the language and meet people, all
of which elevates her mood and energy levels, which makes her more
attractive and interesting to others, on and on.
Although attitudes come in many varieties and blends, we can
generally categorize them as negative and narrow or positive and
expansive. Those with a negative attitude tend to operate from a basic
position of fear toward life. They unconsciously want to limit what they
see and experience to give them more control. Those with a positive
attitude have a much less fearful approach. They are open to new
experiences, ideas, and emotions. If the attitude is like our lens on the
world, the negative attitude narrows the aperture of this lens, and the
positive variety expands it as far as possible. We might move between
these two poles, but generally we tend to see the world with a more
closed or open lens.
Your task as a student of human nature is twofold: First, you must
become aware of your own attitude and how it slants your perceptions.
It is hard to observe this in your day-to-day life because it is so close to
you, but there are ways to catch glimpses of it in action. You can see it
in how you judge people once they are out of your presence. Are you
quick to focus on their negative qualities and bad opinions, or are you
more generous and forgiving when it comes to their flaws? You will see
definite signs of your attitude in how you face adversity or resistance.
Are you quick to forget or gloss over any mistakes on your part? Do
you instinctively blame others for any bad things that happen to you?
Do you dread any kind of change? Do you tend to keep to routines and
to avoid anything unexpected or unusual? Do you get your back up
when someone challenges your ideas and assumptions?
You will also catch signs of it in how people respond to you,