The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Poisonous praise:
A major envy attack is often preceded by little envy
bites—offhand comments expertly designed to get under your skin.
Confusing, paradoxical praise is a common form of this. Let us say you
have completed a project—a book, a film, some creative venture—and
the initial response from the public is quite positive. Enviers will make
a comment praising the money you will now be making, implying that
that is the main reason you have worked on it. You want praise for the
work itself and the effort that went into it, and instead they imply that
you have done it for the money, that you have sold out. You feel
confused—they have praised you, but in a way that makes you
uncomfortable. These comments will also come at moments chosen to

---

cause maximum doubt and damage, for instance just when you have
heard the good news and feel a flush of joy.
Similarly, in noting your success, they may bring up the least likable
parts of your audience, the kinds of fans or consumers who do not
reflect well on you. “Well, I’m sure Wall Street executives are going to
love this.” This is thrown in among other normal comments, but the
guilt by association lingers in your mind. Or they will praise something
once you have lost it—a job, a house in a nice neighborhood, a spouse
who has left you. “That was such a beautiful house. What a shame.” It’s
all said in a way that seems compassionate but has a discomforting
effect. Poisonous praise almost always indicates envy. They feel the
need to praise, but what dominates is the underlying hostility. If they
have a habit of praising in this way, if you experience it several times, it
is probably an indication of something more intense stirring within
them.
Backbiting:
If people like to gossip a lot, particularly about common
acquaintances, you can be sure they will gossip about you. And gossip
is a frequent cover for envy, a convenient way to vent it by sharing
malicious rumors and stories. When they talk about others behind
their backs, you will see their eyes light up and their voice become
animated—it gives them a joy comparable to schadenfreude. They will
elicit any kind of negative report about a common acquaintance. A
frequent theme in their gossip is that no one’s really that great, and
people aren’t what they pretend to be.
If you ever get wind of a story they have spread about you, subtly or
not so subtly negative, only one such instance should be enough to
raise your antennae. What indicates active envy in this case is that they
are your friend and they feel the need to vent their underlying hostility
to a third party rather than keep it to themselves. If you notice that
friends or colleagues are suddenly cooler to you than before for no
apparent reason, such gossiping might be the source and would be
worth ferreting out. In any event, serial gossipers do not make loyal
and trustworthy friends.