The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

Show the Shadow.
Most of the time we secretly suffer from the endless
social codes we have to adhere to. We have to seem so nice and
agreeable, always going along with the group. We better not show too
much confidence or ambition. Seem humble and similar to everyone
else; that’s how the game is played. In following this path we gain
comfort by fitting in, but we also become defensive and secretly
resentful. Being so nice becomes a habit, which easily turns into
timidity, lack of confidence, and indecision. At the same time, our
Shadow will show itself, but unconsciously, in explosive fits and starts,
and often to our detriment.
It would be wise to look at those who are successful in their field.
Inevitably we will see that most of them are much less bound by these
codes. They are generally more assertive and overtly ambitious. They
care much less what others think of them. They flout the conventions
openly and proudly. And they are not punished but greatly rewarded.
Steve Jobs is a classic example. He showed his rough, Shadow side in
his way of working with others. Our tendency in looking at people like
Jobs is to admire their creativity and subtract their darker qualities as
unnecessary. If only he had been nicer, he would have been a saint. But
in fact the dark side was inextricably interwoven with his power and
creativity. His ability to not listen to others, to go his own way, and be
a bit rough about it were key parts of his success, which we venerate.
And so it is with many creative, powerful people. Subtract their active
Shadow, and they would be like everyone else.

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Understand: You pay a greater price for being so nice and
deferential than for consciously showing your Shadow. First, to follow
the latter path you must begin by respecting your own opinions more
and those of others less, particularly when it comes to your areas of
expertise, to the field you have immersed yourself in. Trust your native
genius and the ideas you have come up with. Second, get in the habit in
your daily life of asserting yourself more and compromising less. Do
this under control and at opportune moments. Third, start caring less
what people think of you. You will feel a tremendous sense of
liberation. Fourth, realize that at times you must offend and even hurt
people who block your path, who have ugly values, who unjustly
criticize you. Use such moments of clear injustice to bring out your
Shadow and show it proudly. Fifth, feel free to play the impudent,
willful child who mocks the stupidity and hypocrisy of others.
Finally, flout the very conventions that others follow so
scrupulously. For centuries, and still to this day, gender roles represent
the most powerful convention of all. What men and women can do or
say has been highly controlled, to the point where it seems almost to
represent biological differences instead of social conventions. Women
in particular are socialized to be extra nice and agreeable. They feel
continual pressure to adhere to this and mistake it for something
natural and biological.
Some of the most influential women in history were those who
deliberately broke with these codes—performers like Marlene Dietrich
and Josephine Baker, political figures such as Eleanor Roosevelt,
businesswomen such as Coco Chanel. They brought out their Shadow
and showed it by acting in ways that were traditionally thought of as
masculine, blending and confusing gender roles.
Even Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis gained great power by playing
against the type of the traditional political wife. She had a pronounced
malicious streak. When Norman Mailer first met her in 1960 and she
seemed to poke fun at him, he saw that “something droll and hard
came into her eyes as if she were a very naughty eight-year-old
indeed.” When people displeased her, she showed it rather openly. She
seemed to care little what others thought of her. And she became a
sensation because of the naturalness she exuded.
In general, consider this a form of exorcism. Once you show these
desires and impulses, they no longer lie hidden in corners of your

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personality, twisting and operating in secret ways. You have released
your demons and enhanced your presence as an authentic human. In
this way, the Shadow becomes your ally.
Unfortunately there is no doubt about the fact that man is, as a whole, less
good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow,
and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and
denser it is.
—Carl Jung

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