The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)


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The Laws of Human Nature

See the Shadow.
This is the most difficult step in the process. The
Shadow is something we deny and repress. It is so much easier to dig
up and moralize about the dark qualities of others. It is almost
unnatural for us to look inward at this side of ourselves. But remember
that you are only half a human if you keep this buried. Be intrepid in
this process.
The best way to begin is to look for indirect signs, as indicated in the
sections above. For instance, take note of any particular one-sided,
emphatic traits in yourself. Assume that the opposite trait lies buried
deep within, and from there try to see more signs of this trait in your
behavior. Look at your own emotional outbursts and moments of
extreme touchiness. Somebody or something has struck a chord. Your
sensitivity to a remark or imputation indicates a Shadow quality that is
stirring, in the form of a deep insecurity. Bring it into the light.
Look deeply at your tendencies to project emotions and bad
qualities onto people you know, or even entire groups. For instance,
say you really loathe narcissistic types or pushy people. What is
happening is that you are probably brushing up against your own
narcissistic tendencies and secret desire to be more assertive, in the
form of a vehement denial or hatred. We are particularly sensitive to
traits and weaknesses in others that we are repressing in ourselves.
Look at moments in your youth (late teens, early twenties) in which
you acted in a rather insensitive or even cruel manner. When you were
younger, you had less control of the Shadow and it came out more
naturally, not with the repressed force of later years.
Later in his career, the writer Robert Bly (born 1926) began to feel
depressed. His writing had become sterile. He started to think more
and more about the Shadow side of his character. He was determined
to find signs of it and consciously scrutinize it. Bly was the bohemian
type of artist, very much active in the counterculture of the 1960s. His
artistic roots went back to the Romantic artists of the early nineteenth
century, men and women who extolled spontaneity and naturalness. In
much of Bly’s own writing, he railed at advertising men and
businesspeople—as he saw it, they were so calculating, planning
everything to the extreme, afraid of the chaos of life, and quite
manipulative.
And yet, as he looked inward, Bly could catch glimpses of such
calculating, manipulative qualities in himself. He too secretly feared


moments of chaos in life, liked to plan things out and control events.
He could be quite malicious with people he perceived to be so
different, but in fact there was a part of the stockbroker and
advertising man within him. Perhaps it was the deeper part of himself.
Others told him that they saw him as rather classical in his taste and in
his writing (constructing things well), something that bothered him,
since he thought the opposite. But as he became increasingly honest
with himself, he realized they were right. (People can often see our
Shadow better than we can, and it would be wise to elicit their frank
opinions on the subject.)
Step by step he unearthed the dark qualities within—rigid, overly
moralistic, et cetera—and in doing so he felt reconnected with the
other half of his psyche. He could be honest with himself and channel
the Shadow creatively. His depression lifted, as well as the writer’s
block.
Take this process deeper by reexamining the earlier version of
yourself. Look at traits in childhood that were drummed out of you by
your parents and peers—certain weaknesses or vulnerabilities or forms
of behavior, traits you were made to feel ashamed of. Perhaps your
parents did not like your introspective tendencies or your interest in
certain subjects that were not of their taste. They instead steered you
toward careers and interests that suited them. Look at emotions you
were once prone to, things that sparked a sense of awe or excitement
that has gone missing. You have become more like others as you have
gotten older, and you must rediscover the lost authentic parts of
yourself.
Finally, look at your dreams as the most direct and clear view of
your Shadow. Only there will you find the kinds of behavior you have
carefully avoided in conscious life. The Shadow is talking to you in
various ways. Don’t look for symbols or hidden meanings. Pay
attention instead to the emotional tone and overall feelings that they
inspire, holding on to them throughout the day. This could be
unexpected bold behavior on your part, or intense anxiety spurred by
certain situations, or sensations of being physically trapped or of
soaring above it all, or exploring a place that is forbidden and beyond
the boundaries. The anxieties could relate to insecurities you are not
confronting; the soaring and exploring are hidden desires trying to rise
to consciousness. Get in the habit of writing your dreams down and
paying deep attention to their feeling tone.


The more you go through this process and see the outlines of your
Shadow, the easier it will become. You will find more signs as your
tense muscles of repression loosen up. At a certain point, the pain of
going through this turns into excitement at what you’re uncovering.

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