The 50th Law (with 50 Cent)

5. Use people’s resistance and stubbornness. Some people
are particularly resistant to any form of influence. They are most often

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people with deeper levels of insecurity and low self-opinion. This can
manifest itself in a rebellious attitude. Such types feel as if it is them
against the world. They must assert their will at all costs and resist any
kind of change. They will do the opposite of what people suggest. They
will seek advice for a particular problem or symptom, only to find
dozens of reasons of why the advice given won’t work for them. The
best thing to do is to play a game of mental judo with them. In judo you
do not counter people’s moves with a thrust of your own but rather
encourage their aggressive energy (resistance) in order to make them
fall on their own. Here are some ways to put this into practice in
everyday life.
Use their emotions:
In the book Change, the therapist authors (Paul
Watzlawick, John H. Weakland, and Richard Fisch) discuss the case of
a rebellious teenager, suspended from school by the principal because
he was caught dealing drugs. He was still to do his homework at home
but was forbidden to be on campus. This would put a big dent in his
drug-dealing business. The boy burned with the desire to get
vengeance.
The mother consulted a therapist, who told her to do the following:
explain to the son that the principal believed only students who
attended class in person could do well. In the principal’s mind, by
keeping the boy away from school he was ensuring he would fail. If he
did better by working at home than in class, this would embarrass the
principal. Better to not try too hard this semester and get on the good
side of the principal by proving him right. Of course, such advice was
designed to play into his emotions. Now he desired nothing more than
to embarrass the principal and so threw himself into his homework
with great energy, the goal of the therapist all along. In essence, the
idea is not to counter people’s strong emotions but to move with them
and find a way to channel them in a productive direction.