The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance
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deep. Find something.
Now he changed tactics and decided to hold me off, stalling out the round. I searched for over a minute, spent; on the video it looks like I gave up. My body went limp, then I saw a hole and exploded into the same throw they just took away from me, but at the end I pushed off hard (incidentally against my ankle, which was turned ninety degrees), arched my back, and landed flat on him so they couldn’t argue. My point, 2–1. Need one more from somewhere. It felt like one of those video games where the endurance of the fighter is gone and you have to hold the other guy off, survive the barrage, until you’ve recovered enough to give him one more shot. That’s what I had to do, hold him off until I had a little bit in me, and then put every ounce of it into a throw that had to be perfectly timed because if it didn’t work I might just collapse. Then I found a little opening. I got into the clinch, trapped his right arm, faked forward, and drove my whole being into a bicep throw. He went down, I landed on him, shoulder to ribs. The tying point. There were nineteen seconds left. All I have to do is hold him off and I win. Except at this moment everything turned very, very strange. Once again, the judges decided not to allow my throw. They claimed it was illegal. Now people rushed onto the floor, Americans and Taiwanese officials. Our team had cameras shooting the match and soon a gaggle of officials and players from both teams were looking into video cameras. The stadium went berserk with anger and confusion. The judges convened, the president of the Taiwanese federation, my teacher Master Chen, my whole team, my opponent’s team, everyone on the mats looking at the videos. There were fifteen minutes of mayhem, bickering, politics. Interestingly, my opponent’s coach and his whole team considered the ruling against me an outrage—they told me this afterward. By all accounts my throw was legal. It was astonishing that hometown referees would do this in the final minute of a match for the world title. After a long dispute, the judges said this challenge would have to be resolved after the match. But for now, I was down by one, the throw would not be counted, and there were 19 seconds left. I had to continue or I would lose by forfeit. Well, in those 19 seconds I gave it my all. I attacked him with everything I had, made the situation totally chaotic and cranked into a throw that would have put him down in training, but he gave up his body, literally. His elbow bent all the way back; it was exploding inside, but he wouldn’t give up and stayed on his feet until the bell rang. Such heart! Then I just sat down and watched chaos take over. Witnesses came from all over who had seen the clock run out in round two when the judge had refused to allow the woman to ring the bell. There was a meeting held in the center of the stadium with videos shown to the president of the Taiwanese Tai Chi Federation, to the judges, to everybody. My opponent’s coach, Chen Ze-Cheng’s father, an honorable man, agreed with the president that this was wrong. They suggested a shared championship. I went over to the head referee and demanded a clear winner. Overtime. I knew I could take him. The opposing coach agreed to a two-minute sudden death playoff to decide the World Championship. We would have international judges. They went to find the Buffalo. For twenty minutes I paced the arena, red hot—if there is a place beyond the zone, I was there. But it turned out that Buffalo’s elbow was too severely injured. The ruling was a shared title in Moving Step. In a flash, it was over. No more battles to fight. The martial fury subsided, and in its place came pain, mellowness and camaraderie. Buffalo and I swayed on the first place podium together, hugging, and holding each other up. AFTERWORD Two years after the madness of that World Championship in Taiwan, I am still digesting the experience. Never in my life have I had to dig so deeply into myself. Not even close. It was thrilling and also a bit alienating. I saw parts of myself I didn’t know about. To survive and win, I became a gladiator, pure and simple. I hadn’t fully understood that he was inside of me, waiting, but surely all the work I had done for years had made him possible, perhaps inevitable. How did this new part of myself relate to the Josh I’d known my whole life, the kid who was once scared of the dark, the chess player, the young man who loves the rain and re-reading passages of Jack Kerouac? How did it fit in with my passion for Buddhism and the satyagraha of Mahatma Gandhi? Honestly, these are questions that I am still sorting out. Do I want to explore more of this side of myself? Maybe. But perhaps in a different guise. Mainly what I felt after Taiwan was an urgent desire to get back to practice and shake off the idea that I had climbed my mountain. In the last two years I have started over. A new beginning. There are great adventures ahead. * * * The writing off this book has spanned an intense and unlikely stretch of years. As a kid growing up, in my tiny room I could never have dreamed that such battles awaited me. While writing these pages, my ideas have evolved, loves have fallen apart and come anew, world championships were lost and won. If I have learned anything over my first twenty-nine years, it is that we cannot calculate our important contests, adventures, and great loves to the end. The only thing we can really count on is getting surprised. No matter how much preparation we do, in the real tests of our lives, we’ll be in unfamiliar terrain. Conditions might not be calm or reasonable. It may feel as though the whole world is stacked against us. This is when we have to perform better than we ever conceived of performing. I believe the key is to have prepared in a manner that allows for inspiration, to have laid the foundation for us to create under the wildest pressures we ever imagined. It is my hope that you, the reader, emerge from this book inspired and perhaps a bit more enabled to follow your dreams in a manner that is consistent with the unique gifts you bring to the table. That has been my ambition. The ideas I’ve shared in these pages have worked for me and it’s my hope that they suggest a structure and direction. But there is no such thing as a fixed recipe for victory or happiness. If my approach feels right, take it, hone it, give it your own flavor. Leave my numbers behind. In the end, mastery involves discovering the most resonant information and integrating it so deeply and fully it disappears and allows us to fly free. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS My father, Freddy Waitzkin, has had my back through it all. Pop, I can’t thank you enough for all the love, patience, guidance, and loyalty. You’ve been in my corner through thick and thin, and we both know I couldn’t have done it without you. Mom, you’re the greatest mother anyone could ever dream of. Katya, my gutsy dive partner and baby sister, I am so proud of you. I love you guys. In our crazy Waitzkin way, we keep it together. I’ve been blessed with some wonderful teachers in my life. My Grandma, Stella Waitzkin, whom I miss terribly, taught me to listen. Shellie Sclan got me writing. Dennis Dalton and Robert Thurman got me feeling. William C. C. Chen taught me to let go. John Machado has me rolling all over again. My dear friends and teammates, Dan Caulfield, Max Chen, Tom Otterness, Jan C. Childress, Jan L. Childress, Trevor Cohen, and the Little Warrior: Irving Yee—thank you, guys, for helping me create our laboratory. We’ve got a long way to go. As for the birth of this book, I am enormously indebted to my agent Binky Urban, who was just plain great. Thank you so much for your patience and your vision, Binky. My fabulous editor Liz Stein believed in this book from day one and then gave me the room to bring it together. It is a true pleasure working with you, Liz, and I have learned so much from the process. Mike Bryan, John Maroon, and John Henrich, many thanks for reaching out with such generosity. I had some readers who gave me valuable feedback when I needed it. Desiree Cifre, Bonnie Waitzkin, Elta Smith, Bindu Suresh, Hannah Beth King, Toby Buggiani, Tom Otterness, Dan Caulfield, you guys are great. Pop, you’ve been a rock. Light Buggiani, David Arnett, Rebecca Mayer, Maurice Ashley, Andy Manning, Jeffrey Newman, Mike Bryan, Paul Pines, Carol Jarecki, Bruce Pandolfini, Svetozar Jovanovic, Diana and Jonathan Wade, thank you for the friendship and inspiration. Desi baby, you are a dream come true. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Josh Waitzkin, an eight-time National Chess Champion in his youth, was the subject of the book and movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. At eighteen, he published his first book, Josh Waitzkin’s Attacking Chess. Since the age of twenty, he has developed and been spokesperson for Chessmaster, the largest computer chess program in the world, currently in its eleventh edition. Now a martial arts champion, he holds a combined twenty-one National Championship titles in addition to several World Championship titles. He regularly gives seminars and keynote presentations and is president of the JW Foundation, a nonprofit devoted to maximizing each student’s unique potential through an enriched educational process. Also by Josh Waitzkin ATTACKING CHESS We hope you enjoyed reading this Free Press eBook. Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Free Press and Simon & Schuster. CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP or visit us online to sign up at eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com FREE PRESS A Division of Simon & Schuster Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 www.SimonandSchuster.com Copyright © 2007 by Josh Waitzkin LLC All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Free Press Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 First Free Press trade paperback edition May 2008 F REE P RESS and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Download 7.86 Kb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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