The Art Of Saying no: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted
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The art of saying no
BONUS STRATEGY #3:
CONFRONT YOUR FEAR OF MISSING OUT T he fear of missing out (FOMO) motivates many of us to say yes, even when we lack the time, energy, or money to do so with confidence. We cringe at the mere possibility that we might let an opportunity slip through our fingers. So we say yes when we know we should say no. For example, we accept an invitation to a party just in case someone we want to meet is in attendance. The chance that this person will show up is small, but we don’t want to miss out in the event he or she does. Or we agree to take on a big project at the office because doing so might lead to a promotion down the road. In reality, the odds that it’ll do so are tiny. But we say yes because we don’t want to miss out if there’s the slightest chance. According to psychologists, the fear of missing out is serious enough to induce anxiety in many people. It can even be the cause of compulsive behavior, such as checking email and Facebook messages every few minutes. Most of us struggle with FOMO to some extent. The important thing is to recognize its role in prompting us to say yes without first considering whether doing so is a good idea. For example, suppose you have an opportunity to manage a new project at your job. You’re inclined to say yes because there’s a chance that taking it on might advance your career. But there are probably concealed costs associated with managing this project. For example, saying yes to this project means you must say no to others, some of which might offer better odds of career advancement. Also, consider your availability given what’s already on your plate. Do you have enough time to take on another project? If not, taking it on is likely to have a negative impact on your current responsibilities. Falling behind and turning in shoddy work is more likely to hurt your career than help it. Take stock of whether the fear of missing out is spurring you to say yes when you’re better off saying no. If it is, you must train yourself to control it. It’ll take time and patience, and perhaps even a bit of courage. The next time you instinctively want to say yes to an offer, request, or invitation, stop. Take a moment to think it through. Are you willing to say yes because there’s a high likelihood that doing so will pay dividends? Or are you saying yes simply because you fear missing out on an opportunity? Accept that many opportunities seem promising, but are a waste of time and energy. You probably know this from experience. When your inner opportunist rears its head, have the courage to say no, even if doing so means you might miss out. It’ll be difficult in the beginning, especially if you struggle with FOMO. But rest assured, it gets easier with time and consistent application. And once you successfully curb your fear of missing out, you’ll find it easier to decline requests that threaten to stretch you too thin. |
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