The Circle
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Dave Eggers The Circle
Mayflower people with this unimpeachable lineage! Now they take it really fucking
seriously. My mom hasn’t left the house in two days. I don’t want to know what they nd next.” What they found next, two days later, was far worse. Mae didn’t know, ahead of time, precisely what it was, but she did know that Annie knew, and that Annie had sent a very strange zing out into the world. It said Actually, I don’t know if we should know everything. When they met in the stalls, Mae couldn’t believe Annie’s ngers had actually typed that sentence. The Circle couldn’t delete it, of course, but someone—Mae hoped it was Annie —had amended it to say We shouldn’t know everything—without the proper storage ready. You don’t want to lose it! “Of course I sent it,” Annie said. “The first one anyway.” Mae had held out hope that it was some terrible glitch. “How could you have sent that?” “It’s what I believe, Mae. You have no idea.” “I know I don’t. What idea do you have? You know what kind of shit you’re in? How can you of all people espouse an idea like that? You’re the poster child for open access to the past and now you’re saying … What are you saying, anyway?” “Oh fuck, I don’t know. I just know I’m done. I need to shut it down.” “Shut what down?” “PastPerfect. Anything like it.” “You know you can’t.” “I’m planning to try.” “You must already be in deep shit.” “I am. But the Wise Men owe me this one favor. I can’t handle this. I mean, they’ve already quote-unquote relieved me of some of my duties. Whatever. I don’t even care. But if they don’t shut it down I’ll go into some kind of coma. I already feel like I can barely stand or breathe.” They sat in silence for a moment. Mae wondered if she shouldn’t leave. Annie was losing her hold on something very central about herself; she felt volatile, capable of rash and irrevocable acts. Talking to her, at all, was a risk. Now she heard Annie gasping. “Annie. Breathe.” “I just told you I can’t. I haven’t slept in two days.” “So what happened?” Mae asked. “Oh fuck, everything. Nothing. They found some weird stu with my parents. I mean, a lot of weird stuff.” “When does it go live?” “Tomorrow.” “Okay. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think.” “It’s so much worse than you can imagine.” “Tell me. I bet it’s fine.” “It’s not fine, Mae. It’s anything but fine. The rst thing is that I found out my dad and mom had some kind of open marriage or something. I haven’t even asked them about it. But there are photos and video of them with all kinds of other people. I mean, like, serial adultery on both sides. Is that fine?” “How do you know it was an a air? I mean, if they were just walking next to someone? And it was the eighties, right?” “More like the nineties. And trust me. It’s definitive.” “Like sex photos?” “No. But kissy photos. I mean, there’s one with my dad with his hand around some woman’s waist, his other hand on her tit. I mean, sick shit. Other pictures with Mom and some bearded guy, a series of naked photos. Apparently the guy died, had this stash of photos, they were bought at some garage sale and scanned and put in the cloud. Then when they did the global facial-rec, ta-da, Mom’s naked with some biker guy. I mean, the two of them just standing there sometimes, naked, like posing for prom.” “I’m sorry.” “And who took the pictures? There’s some third guy in the room? Who was that? A helpful neighbor?” “Have you asked them about it?” “No. But that’s the better part of it. I was about to confront them when this other thing popped up. It’s so much worse that I don’t even care about the a airs. I mean, the pictures were nothing compared to the video they found.” “What about the video?” “Okay. This was one of the rare times the two of them were actually together—at night at least. This is from some video taken at some pier. There was a security camera there, because I guess they store stu in the warehouses there on the water. So there’s a tape of my parents hanging around this pier at night.” “Like a sex tape?” “No, it’s much worse. Oh fuck, it’s so bad. Mae, it’s fucking so twisted. You know my parents do this thing every so often—they sort of have a couples night where they go on some bender? They’ve told me about it. They get stoned, drunk, go dancing, stay out all night. It’s on their anniversary every year. Sometimes it’s in the city, sometimes they go somewhere like Mexico. It’s like some all-night thing to keep them young, keep their marriage fresh, whatever.” “Okay.” “So I know this happened on their anniversary. I was six years old.” “So?” “It’s one thing if I hadn’t been born—Oh shit. So anyway. I don’t know what they were doing beforehand, but they show up on this surveillance camera around one a.m. They’re drinking a bottle of wine, and kind of dangling their feet over the water, and it all seems pretty innocent and boring for a while. But then this man comes into the frame. He’s like some kind of homeless guy, stumbling around. And my parents look at him, and watch him wandering around and stu . It looks like he says something to them, and they sort of laugh and go back to their wine. Then nothing happens for a while, and the homeless guy’s out of the frame. Then about ten minutes later he’s back in the frame, and then he falls off the pier and into the water.” Mae took in a quick breath. She knew it was making this worse. “Did your parents see him fall?” Now Annie was sobbing. “That’s the problem. They totally did. It happened about three feet from where they were sitting. On the tape you see them get up, sort of lean over, yelling down into the water. You can tell they’re freaking out. Then they sort of look around, to see if there’s a phone or anything.” “And was there?” “I don’t know. It doesn’t look like it. They never really left the frame. That’s what’s so fucked up. They see this guy drop into the water and they just stay there. They don’t run to get help, or call the police or anything. They don’t jump in to save the guy. After a few minutes of freaking out, they just sit down again, and my mom puts her head on my dad’s shoulder, and the two of them stay there for another ten minutes or something, and then they get up and leave.” “Maybe they were in shock.” “Mae, they just got up and left. They never called 911 or anything. There’s no record of it. They never reported it. But the body was found the next day. The guy wasn’t even homeless. He was maybe a little mentally disabled but he lived with his parents and worked at a deli, washing dishes. My parents just watched him drown.” Now Annie was choking on her tears. “Have you told them about this?” “No. I can’t talk to them. They’re really disgusting to me right now.” “But it hasn’t been released yet?” Annie looked at the time. “It will be soon. Less than twelve hours.” “And Bailey said?” “He can’t do anything. You know him.” “Maybe there’s something I can do,” Mae said, having no idea what. Annie gave no sign she believed Mae capable of slowing or stopping the storm coming her way. “It’s so sick. Oh shit,” Annie said, as if the realization had just passed through her. “Now I don’t have parents.” When their time was up, Annie returned to her o ce, where, she said, she planned to lie down inde nitely, and Mae returned to her old pod. She needed to think. She stood in the doorway, where she’d seen Kalden watch her, and she watched the CE newbies, taking comfort in their honest work, their nodding heads. Their murmurs of assent and disapproval gave her a sense of order and rightness. The occasional Circler looked up to smile at her, to wave chastely at the camera, at her audience, before returning to the work at hand. Mae felt a surging pride in them, in the Circle, in attracting pure souls like this. They were open. They were truthful. They did not hide or hoard or obfuscate. There was a newbie close to her, a man of no more than twenty-two, with wild hair rising from his head like smoke, working with such concentration that he hadn’t noticed Mae standing behind him. His ngers were typing furiously, uidly, almost silently, as he simultaneously answered customer queries and survey questions. “No, no, smile, frown,” he said, nodding with a quick and e ortless pace. “Yes, yes, no, Cancun, deep-sea diving, upscale resort, breakaway weekend, January, January, meh, three, two, smile, smile, meh, yes, Prada, Converse, no, frown, frown, smile, Paris.” Watching him, the solution to Annie’s problem seemed obvious. She needed support. Annie needed to know she wasn’t alone. And then it all clicked. Of course the solution was built into the Circle itself. There were millions of people out there who no doubt would stand behind Annie, and would show their support in myriad unexpected and heartfelt ways. Su ering is only su ering if it’s done in silence, in solitude. Pain experienced in public, in view of loving millions, was no longer pain. It was communion. Mae turned from the doorway and made her way to the roofdeck. She had a duty here, not only to Annie, her friend, but to her watchers. And being witness to the honesty and openness of the newbies, of this young man with his wild hair, made her feel hypocritical. As she climbed the stairs, she assessed her options and herself. Moments ago, she’d purposely obfuscated. She’d been the opposite of open, the opposite of honest. She’d hidden audio from the world, which was tantamount to lying to the world, to the millions who assumed she was being straightforward always, transparent always. She looked out over the campus. Her watchers wondered what she was looking at, why the silence. “I want you all to see what I see,” she said. Annie wanted to hide, to suffer alone, to cover up. And Mae wanted to honor this, to be loyal. But could loyalty to one trump loyalty to millions? Wasn’t it this kind of thinking, favoring the personal and temporary gain over the greater good, that made possible any number of historical horrors? Again the solution seemed in front of her, all around her. Mae needed to help Annie and re-purify her own practice of transparency, and both could be done with one brave act. She checked the time. She had two hours until her SoulSearch presentation. She stepped onto the roofdeck, organizing her thoughts into some lucid statement. Soon she made her way to the bathroom, to the scene of the crime, as it were, and by the time she’d arrived, and saw herself in the mirror, she knew what she needed to say. She took a breath. “Hello, watchers. I have an announcement to make, and it’s a painful one. But I think it’s the right thing to do. Just an hour ago, as many of you know, I entered this bathroom, ostensibly under the auspices of doing my business in the second stall you see over here.” She turned to the row of stalls. “But when I entered, I sat down, and with the audio o , I had a private conversation with a friend of mine, Annie Allerton.” Already a few hundred messages were shooting through her wrist, the most-favored one thus far already forgiving her: Mae, bathroom talk is allowed! Don’t worry. We believe in you. “To those sending your good words to me, I want to thank you,” Mae said. “But more important than my own admission is what Annie and I talked about. You see, many of you know that Annie’s been part of an experiment here, a program to trace one’s ancestry as far back as technology will allow. And she’s found some unfortunate things in the deep recesses of her history. Some of her ancestors committed serious misdeeds, and it’s got her sick about it all. Worse, tomorrow, another unfortunate episode will be revealed, this one more recent, and perhaps more painful.” Mae glanced at her bracelet, seeing that the active viewers had nearly doubled in the last minute, to 3,202,984. She knew that many people kept her feed on their screens as they worked, but were rarely actively watching. Now it was clear her impending announcement had the focused attention of millions. And, she thought, she needed the compassion of these millions to cushion tomorrow’s fall. Annie deserved it. “So my friends, I think we need to harness the power of the Circle. We need to harness the compassion out there, of all the people out there who already know and love Annie, or who can empathize with Annie. I hope you can all send her your good wishes, your own stories of finding out about some dark spots in your family past, and make Annie feel less alone. Tell her you’re on her side. Tell her you like her just the same, and that some distant ancestor’s crimes have no bearing on her, don’t change the way you think about Annie.” Mae nished by providing Annie’s email address, Zing feed and pro le page. The reaction was immediate. Annie’s followers increased from 88,198 to 243,087—and, as Mae’s announcement was passed around, would likely pass a million by the end of the day. The messages poured in, the most popular being one that said The past is past, and Download 1.35 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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