The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment.
What are the causes of this?
What can be done to solve this problem?
It is evident that the increase in manufacturing and production of retail goods has led to devastation of the ecosystem. This essay will explore two of the main causes of this issue and propose measures that can address them.
First, the dramatic increase in the human population has resulted in a higher demand for consumer goods, which causes further environmental destruction. Industries increase their production to serve this rising demand, but individuals and society as a whole can help address this problem by reducing overconsumption and focusing on investing in durable goods.
In addition, the production of consumer goods often involves the use of raw materials such as timber, minerals, and oil that are extracted from the natural environment. To tackle this issue, industries can adopt environmentally friendly production methods, such as resource efficiency, waste reduction, and renewable energy adoption.
In conclusion, it is possible to mitigate the negative impact of human activities on the natural environment. By implementing environment protection regulations and adopting sustainable practices, individuals and companies can work towards ensuring a more sustainable future.

FEEDBACK

1. 
   In the concluding paragraph, the phrase “implementing environment protection regulations” could be revised to “implementing environmental protection regulations.” This change ensures the correct use of the term “environmental” as an adjective.
   

SCORE BREAKDOWN

1. Task Achievement (Score: 7/9):

- You clearly address the task by discussing the causes of environmental devastation and proposing measures to address them.
- You provide a clear introduction, body paragraphs that cover the main points, and a conclusion that summarizes your ideas.
- Your ideas are well-developed and supported with examples and suggestions.

2. Coherence and Cohesion (Score: 7/9):

- Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure.
- You use appropriate paragraphing to separate your ideas.
- There is a good use of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and sentences.

3. Lexical Resource (Score: 7/9):

- Your vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate.
- You use some specific and relevant terms related to the topic.
- There is room for improvement by incorporating more advanced vocabulary and demonstrating a wider range of vocabulary usage.

4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Score: 7/9):

- Your essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures.
- Your sentences are generally well-constructed, and you make few grammatical errors.
- Minor errors, such as missing articles or incorrect word forms, are present but do not significantly affect understanding.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a strong command of the English language and effectively addresses the task. With some minor improvements in vocabulary usage, your essay would receive a high score on the IELTS Writing test. Score: 7

REWRITTEN
The increase in manufacturing and production of retail goods has had a clear and detrimental impact on the ecosystem. This essay aims to explore two primary causes of this issue and propose measures to address them.

Firstly, the exponential growth of the human population has led to a heightened demand for consumer goods, resulting in further environmental destruction. Industries respond to this escalating demand by increasing production, but individuals and society at large can contribute to addressing this problem by reducing overconsumption and prioritizing investments in durable goods.

Furthermore, the production of consumer goods often involves the extraction of raw materials, such as timber, minerals, and oil, from the natural environment. To tackle this issue, industries can adopt environmentally friendly production methods, including resource efficiency, waste reduction, and the adoption of renewable energy sources.

In conclusion, it is indeed possible to mitigate the adverse impact of human activities on the natural environment. By implementing environmental protection regulations and embracing sustainable practices, both individuals and companies can actively work towards ensuring a more sustainable future.