Tracy-Ann Oberman looks back: ‘I’m thinking, What’s this? I want to be a princess!’ theguardian com

In the 1970s, there was no such thing as child therapy. As a result, I became very
insular and untrusting of the world, and I acted out a lot at school. In my family I was the
questioner; I was always watching and thinking. I never took anything at face value and I
was rebellious but in a sad way. I was always getting disciplined as I couldn’t see the
point in following the rules. When you’ve experienced something as deeply meaningful as
a loss, being told off for wearing your jumper round your waist seems utterly petty.
Regardless of how isolated I often felt, I couldn’t bear to see other people being picked on
at school and would always stand up for the underdog. I was shy but not when it came to
injustice. It made my blood boil, and it still does – it’s why I am outspoken on social
media, and in my profession, too.
I worked with a bully of a director for one of my first jobs, and he picked on this young boy
who was plucked straight from drama school and made into a whipping boy. I was openly
horrified, but also incredibly shocked that the older actors were happy to sit back and
watch it happen. No job is worth selling your soul for.
I always wanted to be an actor when I was young, but when I told my parents their
reaction was: “Don’t be a wanker. That is ridiculous! No, no, no.” Like all immigrant
families [Oberman’s great-grandmother was a Belarusian refugee], they wanted their child
to get an education and move up in the world. Their hope was that I might do law, or go
into advertising. They didn’t know anyone in showbiz – Claudia Winkleman is my cousin,
but her side of the family were the arty ones and we were the suburban ones. To my
parents, wanting to be an actress was like wanting to be an astronaut. My dad said:
“Trace – if you choose to follow this career then you’ve got to accept that for the rest of
your life you’re going to live in a bedsit with only a cat for company.” He was an incredibly
intelligent man, but he was frightened.