Tracy-Ann Oberman looks back: ‘I’m thinking, What’s this? I want to be a princess!’ theguardian com

Thankfully I already had the acting bug. I was doing classics at university in Leeds but
life changed when I performed in a production of The Merchant at Edinburgh fringe [an
Arnold Wesker reworking of The Merchant of Venice]. Arnold took me aside and said:
“You’re really good; you should do this professionally.” I said: “My parents are going to kill
me if I leave university.” Because of him I auditioned for drama school. When I eventually
told my dad, he sat me down and said: “If you don’t get an acting job within the first six
months, you’ve got to get a real job.” At the end of the six months, I had landed a place at
the Royal Shakespeare Company.
In spite of all the childhood grief, literature, creativity and performing were the things that
got me out of the dark place. Comedy has always been so important to me, too. I come
from a family surrounded by Holocaust survivors. They told jokes in Auschwitz. Jews
have got funny bones. We see the humour in the tragedy and the tragedy in the humour.

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At the same time I can come across as formidable, hard and strong. I grew up around
tough matriarchs – my mum, my grandmas and my great-aunt and great-grandma. They
were my icons and role models. Through them, I learned to champion myself – to create
opportunities. As a result, I was never out of work. I was always doing something – -
running a radio play alongside a TV comedy alongside voiceover work.
In a short space of time, I went from being a jobbing actor to being watched by 17
million viewers in EastEnders as Chrissie Watts. Soaps were real tabloid fodder at that
time [the early 00s]. The experience of being public property, being on people’s TV
screens most nights a week, was crazy. The intrusion into my personal life and the
paparazzi’s omnipresence was overwhelming; a large part of me couldn’t believe anyone
was interested.
I remember walking in Primrose Hill with a friend and photographers were following us. I
said: “Why are you taking these pictures? They are going to be so boring.” Then we
walked past a coffee shop and I said: “Look there’s Neve Campbell and Jonny Lee Miller!
They’re much more A-list than me!” But they still carried on following us.
My dad loved EastEnders, but he never got to see me in it. He dropped dead suddenly in
my arms at home when I was 20. He would have been amazed that I managed to have
this career. That I managed to keep a child alive, that I have kept my relationship alive,
that I have a dog and a cat. He would have been proud. Especially as the little girl in the
photo would never have dreamed she could have achieved all of that.
When I look at this photo, I want to put my arms around her and tell her that it is
going to be all right. I want to tell her that if you live your life like the universe is out to
get you, then it will get you. Life is good, people are good, and you won’t end up in a
bedsit with only cats for company. Plus you will happily put on a cowboy costume in 50
years’ time.