Twisted Hate: An Enemies with Benefits Romance

I hitched the strap of my bag higher on my shoulder as I walked down the
hall toward my room. My professor had an emergency and couldn’t make it
to campus, so I had an extra hour to kill. Maybe I could check out one of the
indie bookstores near campus after I dropped off my textbook.
Outside, gray clouds threatened rain, and there was nothing cozier than
browsing a bookstore during a rainstorm. I could already hear the quiet flip
of pages and smell the uniquely sweet musk of old books.
I stopped outside my room and fished my key card out of my bag, but
before I could open the door, a deep voice floated through the thin wood.
“Why can’t you switch roommates? I’m sure the housing office will
accommodate you once you explain the situation with Jules.”
I froze, my heart suddenly pounding too fast for comfort.
“Because I don’t want to switch roommates, Josh.” Ava’s firm refusal
warmed some of the chill on my skin. “She’s my friend.”
“You’ve only known her for two months, and she’s already getting you
into trouble,” Josh argued. “Look at what happened with the clock tower.”
Heat prickled my face. Maybe sneaking into Thayer’s off-limits clock
tower to drink wasn’t the best idea, but it’d been fun, and Ava had wanted to
do something crazy. Plus, campus security released us with a slap on the
wrist after they caught us, so we hadn’t gotten into huge trouble or anything.
“She didn’t make me go there at gunpoint,” Ava said. “What is your
problem with Jules? You’ve been on her case since you met her.”
“Because I look at her and I already know she’s trouble waiting to
happen. Hell, she’s trouble that already happened.” Josh sighed. “Yes,
you’re roommates, but you barely know her. You can make other friends,
Ava. She’s bad news. You don’t need someone like that in your life.”
I’d heard enough.
I spun on my heels and speed-walked toward the exit, hurt blooming in
my chest before it gave way to anger.
Fuck Josh. We’d interacted maybe four times, and he was already
passing judgment on me based on one incident.
He didn’t know me like he thought he did. But I already knew I hated him.
Josh’s tan leached of color. “That was seven years ago,” he said in a low
voice. “People change. So do opinions.”
“Did yours? Because until we started having sex, you treated me the same
as you did in college.”

---

He flinched. “Look, I shouldn’t have said what I said, but I…I’m
protective of Ava, especially after what happened when we were kids. You
know as well as I do how trusting she is, and sometimes, she trusts the wrong
people. I know now you’re not one of them, but I barely knew you back then.
I was worried, and I overreacted.”
“What about the years after that?” I couldn’t shake the sting from the
memory. “You’ve never liked me.”
“Because you didn’t like me!” Josh pushed a hand through his hair. He
was close enough I could feel the frustration pouring off him. “We got caught
in this cycle of insulting and hating each other, and I didn’t know how to
break it.”
“So what changed? Besides sex.”
“It’s not…” He faltered, and the lump in my throat magnified.
“Exactly.” Don’t cry. Don’t cry. “Stop with the fake concern, Josh. It’s
disingenuous.”
His nostrils flared, and for the first time that night, anger glinted in his
eyes. “For someone who’s so pissed about me making assumptions about her,
you’re making an awful fuck lotta assumptions about me.”
“It doesn’t mean they’re wrong.”
I didn’t finish speaking before Josh closed the distance between us and
crashed his mouth over mine. I clutched his arms, willing the ache in my
chest away even as my body responded to his.
“Is that what you want, then?” he growled against my lips. “Just sex, no
feelings?”
“That was always the plan.” I injected forced lightness into my tone.
“Unless you’re not up for it.”
“It’s like you live to piss me off, Red.” His grip turned to steel around my
wrists before he released them. “Get on your knees.”
By the time my knees hit the carpet, he’d already undid his belt and pants,
and heat coiled in my belly.
This. This was what I was comfortable with.
Not deep conversations or friendship or hope for some type of future. Just
sex. It was all I’d ever given, and all anyone wanted from me.
I closed my eyes when Josh entered me, losing myself to the sensations of
his body moving over mine. He played me like the world’s most erotic song,
and despite the high emotion of the night, I still came with enough force to
temporarily wipe my mind blank.

---

But when the orgasmic bliss floated away, the pressure behind my
ribcage returned, stronger than ever.
Josh’s harsh breaths sounded deafening in the silence, and a crazy,
horrifying part of me wanted to stay here and listen to him breathe forever.
“Get off me.”
We were both still on the floor. His body caged mine, and I could feel his
every inhale and exhale against my back.
“Jules…” His raw voice scraped against my shredded nerves.
This was a mistake. Everything was a mistake.
“I said get off me.” I shoved him off and scrambled to my feet,
straightening my clothes with trembling hands.
Josh watched me, his face taut with regret and something else I couldn’t
identify, but he didn’t say a word when I left.
I waited until I returned to my room and stepped into the shower before I
collapsed beneath the weight of the night.
The arrest, Max, Josh, everything. It all barreled into me until I sank onto
the floor and curled my knees up to my chest, letting myself truly cry for the
first time in years.
My tears mingled with the water, and I stayed there until the shower ran
cold and there was nothing left except for silence.

---

31

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JULES
I 
ALLOWED
MYSELF
ONE
PITY