Twisted Hate: An Enemies with Benefits Romance

Remember when I said I forgive you? I lied.
What good is it having a daughter if you can’t do one simple thing right?
Once a whore, always a whore.
No one takes my cock better than you do. It’s your best quality.
The jumble of voices in my head sharpened the ache into a piercing pain.
The walls pressed in until the phantom scrape of white plaster against my
skin roiled my stomach.
I wasn’t claustrophobic, but sometimes my thoughts trapped me in a cage
so small I suffocated with each breath.
“I can’t do this right now.” I blinked, trying to clear my vision. “Give
me…give me some time. I just need to think.”
The past forty-eight hours had tossed my life into chaos, and I needed to
get my bearings before I could move forward.
Josh exhaled a shuddering breath. “Jules…”
“Please.” My voice broke.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment before he pressed a kiss to my
forehead. “Okay.” His raw whisper clawed at my heart. “Take however much
time you need. I’ll wait.”
For some reason, his words sent a fresh ache through my chest. “Why?”
No one had ever waited for me. I couldn’t fathom why they would.
“Because you’re it for me. Whether it’s today, tomorrow, a year, or
decades from now, that’ll never change.” Josh’s lips brushed against my skin
before he pulled back, his face taut with emotion. “I’m human, Red. I’ve

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made mistakes in the past, and I’ll make many more in the future. But one
mistake I’ll never make is letting you go, not when there’s even a sliver of a
chance left for us. Because the possibility of you is better than the reality of
anyone else.”
Saltiness trickled down my cheeks.
“So, like I said…” Josh brushed away my tear. “I’ll wait. For as long as it
takes.”

---

52

---

JULES
I 
TOOK
THAT
F
RIDAY
AND
M
ONDAY
OFF
FROM
THE
CLINIC
AND
RETURNED
TO
the office Tuesday morning, more confused than ever. I’d spent the past few
days agonizing over Josh, but I still didn’t know what to do about us. The
more I thought it, the more my head hurt, so it was nice to settle into the
mindless rhythm of work again. At least it took my mind off my utter mess of
a personal life.
Luckily, there’d been an influx of new cases while I was out, and they
kept me busy well into the afternoon until the bells over the front door
chimed.
We were closed for lunch, so it had to be a staff member…or a volunteer.
My heart jumped in my throat when I turned and saw Josh walk in, still
wearing his scrubs and sneakers from the hospital. 
Everyone else was eating out or in the kitchen, so it was just the two of
us.
“Hi.” Somehow, the word made it past the parched desert of my throat.
“Hi.” Josh stopped next to my desk, his eyes drifting to the bandaged cut
on my forehead. A visible swallow worked its way down his throat. “How’s
the cut?” 
“Better. I’ll survive.” I mustered a smile. “Shouldn’t you be resting right
now?” 
Now that he was closer, I could see the faint purple smudges beneath his
eyes and the lines of exhaustion bracketing his mouth.
“I should. But I wanted to see you.”
A swarm of butterflies soared through my stomach and left a trail of
tingles in their wake. “Oh.”

---

Oh? God, I sounded like an idiot, but I’d lost all ability to function
properly.
Josh’s lips curved with a faint hint of bitterness. He’d kept his promise to
give me space to think, but the air between us hummed with so many
unspoken words I was drowning in them.
Frustration welled in my stomach. What was wrong with me? Why
couldn’t I let go and get back together with him the way I wanted? I wasn’t
upset about his hurtful words. I understood why he lashed out the way he
had, but something held me back.
Josh opened his mouth like he wanted to say something else, but after a
beat, he closed it and walked to his desk. We worked in tense silence until my
phone rang and interrupted my pitiful attempt to focus on the clinic’s latest
case.
Surprise coasted through me when I checked the caller ID and saw who
was calling. We’d exchanged numbers at Bridget’s wedding, but I hadn’t
expected to actually hear from him again.
“Hi, Asher,” I said after I picked up. 
The sound of Josh typing fell silent. 
“Hey, Jules.” Asher Donovan’s smooth drawl flowed over the line.
“Sorry for calling out of nowhere, but I’ll be in town tomorrow for a last-
minute trip and wanted to see if you’re free for drinks. I’d love to catch up.”
“I…” Asher was gorgeous, charming, and a world-famous athlete. I
should be all over his invitation, especially considering how much I’d
enjoyed our brief bonding over a certain British royal’s drunken shenanigans
at Bridget’s wedding.
But in that moment, I wasn’t thinking about drinks with the man People
magazine deemed The Most Eligible Bachelor in Sports. Instead, I was trying
my damn hardest not to look at the man sitting less than ten feet away.
The heat from Josh’s stare seared into my skin and distracted me so much
I wasn’t even starstruck by the fact I was on the phone with the Asher
Donovan.
The universe really was throwing everything at me at once, good and bad.
“It’s not a date,” Asher added. “Just two friends hanging out. And…okay,
you’re the only person I know in the city. But I’d hang out with you
regardless.” 
“Good to know.” I laughed. “But tomorrow…” Honestly, all I wanted
was to sleep my nights away like I’d had the past week, but maybe going out

---

would do me some good. It’d make me feel more human and less like a sad
shell trudging through the motions of life. “Okay. Let’s do it. The Bronze
Gear at six? It’s a bar downtown.”
The heat consuming my left side erupted into an inferno. Despite the
frigid air conditioning and my flimsy silk blouse, sweat trickled between my
breasts, and it took every ounce of willpower not to sneak a peek at Josh.
“Perfect,” Asher said. “I’ll be in disguise. Baseball cap, blue shirt.”
“Does that actually work?” I doubted a mere baseball cap could disguise
him. His face wasn’t one people forgot.
“You’d be surprised. People see what they expect to see, and no one
expects to see me hanging out at a D.C. bar on a Wednesday night. See you
soon, Jules.”
“See you.”
When I hung up, the silence was so oppressive I swore I could hear the
rush of my blood through my veins.
“Asher Donovan?” Josh’s casual question was at odds with his tight
voice.
“Yes. He’ll be in town and wants to grab drinks.” 
More silence.
Why was it so freaking hot in here? I lifted my hair off my shoulders and
finally glanced to my left. Josh’s jaw clenched so tight I was surprised it
didn’t crack.
My heart skipped a beat. “It’s not a date,” I added softly.
I didn’t know why I felt the need to clarify that. Josh and I weren’t dating
anymore, and my meetup with Asher was platonic. Still, a frisson of guilt
snaked through me at his granite expression.
“Maybe you don’t think it’s a date.” A grim smile touched Josh’s mouth
before he turned back to his computer. “But trust me, Jules. Any man would
be an idiot to let you go if there was even a chance with you.”
“I 
FIGURED
I’
D
DROP
BY
D.C., 
PICK
SOME
POISONOUS
MUSHROOMS
, 
AND
USE
them to concoct a special pre-game brew,” Asher said. “What do you think?”
“Sounds great.” I fiddled with my straw.
As promised, Asher and I met up the next night for drinks at The Bronze

---

Gear. Normally, I’d want to hear all about his latest feud with another major
soccer star, but I was too distracted to pay much attention to our
conversation.
What was Josh doing right now? Sleeping, probably. He’d showed up
again at the clinic that day after another long shift, despite Barbs’s insistence
he go home. He’d looked ready to collapse at his desk.