Unlimited power

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UNLIMITED POWER 
BY ANTHONY ROBBINS 
 
 
Copyright © 1991 by Robbins Research International. AM rights reserved. Reproduction in any form without the express written convent of Robbins Research International is prohibited. 
P. 128 
 
Here are the three phrases: 
 
"I APPRECIATE AND..." "I RESPECT AND..." "I AGREE AND..." 
 
In each case you're doing three things. You're building rapport by entering 
the other person's world and acknowledging his/her communication rather than 
ignoring or denigrating it with words like "but" or "however." You're creating a 
frame of agreement that bonds you together. And you're opening the door to 
redirecting something without creating resistance. 
 
For example, someone says to you, "You're absolutely wrong." Instead of 
losing rapport by saying, "No, I'm not wrong," respond this way: "I respect the 
intensity of your feelings about this, and I think if you were to hear my side of it 
you might feel differently." Notice, you don't have to agree with the content of the 
person's communication, but you can always appreciate, respect, or agree with 
someone's feeling about something. You can appreciate that person's feeling 
because if you were in the same physiology, if you had the same perception, you 
would feel the same way. 
 
You can also appreciate someone else's intent. For example, many times two 
people on opposite sides of an issue don't appreciate each other's points of view, 
so they don't even hear each other. But if you use the agreement frame, you will 
find yourself listening more intently to what the other person is saying-and 
discovering new ways to appreciate people as a result. 
 
One way to solve problems-is to redefine them-to find a way to agree rather 
than to disagree. Another way is to BREAK THEIR PATTERNS. I've found that 
confusion is one of the greatest ways to interrupt patterns. For example, there was 
a pattern interrupt in an antismoking campaign of a few years ago. It suggested 
that anytime someone you love reaches for a cigarette, give him/her a kiss 
instead.