You taking steps back and forth again and again

Do you want to know what I want? You know what I want. I want healthy relationships and happy family with babies. When I saw that little girl yesterday on bus it touched my heart and I started crying coz I realized how much I want my own family. I would be the best mummy! I would tell my kids that they are beloved every day and do everything for their better life. I would surround my husband with love and care in his turn he would do everything to give us better life too. There would not be any argues coz we would discuss everything and reach compromise. I don’t think it can be done with a person who sent me his shitty text knowing that it was my Birthday after all my positive changes and online show. It was so cruel of you! I will never forget and forgive you for that! Never!
I really wanted happy family only. My bro bought me iPhone 14 as a gift for me so as you see I am not from poor family and my family satisfy my needs.
I still would fight for our happiness, I would tell you to fight for our happiness and peace TOGETHER, we could go to psychologist together but you sent that shitty message on my birthday even though I reminded that my birthday was coming and you sent it exactly on my birthday! So disrespectful, mean and rude of you! You are really shameless!
I processed my mistakes and have changed myself and now its time for you to change! Not for me but for yourself.
Define what you want and find a new girl, be happy!

P.S. when it came to hanki-panki I refused, I did not want to do that I even cried a few times but you wanted it so badly you promised me marriage, family. You were aware that I was a muslim girl you knew all our rules and their consequences but still you insisted. I agreed because decided to trust you. If I were you I would treat such girl as a queen because the thing I did is the highest sign of trust. However, now I observe consequences of my naivety. You know importance of that action and you still did it and now just want to break everything. How am I supposed to marry someone else in the country full of muslims? Have you thought about that???? Your actions show that you don’t care at all.