A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

Teacher (Empathy, Proactive Plan B): Ms. May, I 
understand that homework has been very difficult 
lately. 
Mother: Homework has been very difficult for a very 
long time. You’re the first teacher Jimmy’s had 
who’s expressed any interest in what we go 
through with homework. We spend several hours 
fighting over homework every weeknight. 
Teacher: I’m sorry about that. But let’s see if we can 
come up with a plan so it’s not so terrible 
anymore. 
Mother: You can’t imagine how nice that would be. 
Teacher: Now, I know Jimmy has a lot of trouble with 
writing. Safe to assume that’s part of the problem 
with homework? 
Mother: Writing’s a problem . . . and there are some 
assignments that he just doesn’t seem to 
understand at all. 
Teacher: Can you give me a sense about which 
assignments seem to be hard for him to 
understand? 
Mother: Science. Definitely science. Sometimes 
social studies. Math he gets done in about ten 
minutes. 

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The Plan B Classroom 
255 
Teacher (clarifying Empathy): Yes, we’ve noticed 
math seems to be his thing. But we’ve got writing 
troubles and problems with science and social 
studies. Interesting, those are the subjects that 
also require the most writing. Do you think it’s the 
writing or the material? 
Mother: I think it’s both. 
Teacher: Well, let’s take our problems one at a time. 
Let’s start with the easier one. I’ve read Jimmy’s 
IEP, and of course I’ve had him in my class for 
about six weeks now, but I can’t say I have a 
perfect handle on which parts of science and 
social studies are hard for him yet. So I’m thinking 
you can help me figure it out. I’m thinking that, for 
the time being, if he’s having trouble with a 
science or social studies homework assignment, 
you stop doing the assignment and write me a 
note letting me know what part seemed to be 
hard. Then I can get a sense about what’s getting 
in his way. Then we’ll figure out what to do next. 
Sound OK to you? 
Mother: It sounds OK to me, except for one part. 
Sometimes he’s the one who’s insisting on getting 
it done! He doesn’t want to be different, and he’s 
afraid you’ll be mad. 
Teacher: I’ll talk with him about that so he’ll know I’m 
on board with the plan. Let’s think about the 

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256 
The Explosive Child 
other problem. I don’t want to give up on Jimmy 
and writing. I know it’s hard for him, and we’re 
doing the keyboarding at school, but I don’t want 
him to think he never has to write.