A new Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated

Mother: I agree. 
Teacher: OK, let’s put our heads together and think 
about what we can do about this. I’m wondering 
if we should have Jimmy be part of the discussion 
so we’re sure we’ve got a solution that 
everyone’s OK with. What do you think? 
Mother: Sounds good to me. 
What’s the solution to the writing problem? There 
are dozens of possibilities. The most important thing to 
remember is that durable solutions are those that are 
realistic, doable, and mutually satisfactory. And that some-
times the problem doesn’t get solved with the first solu-
tion. 
Emergency Plan B is an option as well, but one you 
don’t want to rely on too often: 
Rickey (age thirteen): I’m not working on this 
assignment right now. 
Teacher: Well, then your grade will reflect both your 
attitude and your lack of effort. 
Rickey: I don’t give a damn about my grades, man. I 
can’t do this crap. 

---

The Plan B Classroom 
257 
Teacher: Your mouth just got you a detention, young 
man. And I don’t want students in my classroom 
who don’t do their work. Anything else you’d like 
to say? 
Rickey: Yeah . . . This class sucks. 
Teacher: Nor do I need to listen to this. You need to 
go to the assistant principal’s office . . . now. 
Oops. That was Plan A, wasn’t it? Tricky author. Let’s 
see what it would really have looked like with Emer-
gency Plan B: 
Rickey: I’m not working on this assignment right now. 
Teacher: Is there something about the assignment 
that’s hard for you? Let’s see if we can figure it out. 
Rickey: Forget it . . . I can’t do this! Just leave me 
alone! Damn! 
Teacher: Rickey, listen a second. I know you have 
trouble with writing and spelling, and you get very 
frustrated when you have to do assignments 
where you have to write and spell. Let’s see if we 
can find a way for you to do the important part of 
the assignment—letting me know what you 
thought of the story you just heard, which is 
something you’re very good at—without you 
getting all frustrated about the writing and 
spelling part. 

---

258 
The Explosive Child