Advantages and disadvantages of living abroad

Ex.2

1.C 2.B 3.D 4.A 5.E

Advantages and disadvantages of living abroad

While I am deeply thankful for the initiative my parents took to expose me to different lifestyles and cultures, the adjustment to life overseas was not free of challenges. I am not only speaking about the difficulty in saying goodbye to family and friends or the anxiety surrounding the unknown awaiting on the other side (of the pond, quite literally in my case). Beyond some of these practical issues are also some longstanding emotional drawbacks which are only now making themselves known. Please read on for my 'top 10' reasons why living overseas can have its disadvantages.

Loneliness: invariably moving abroad will bring along periods of extreme loneliness which can be very paralyzing in any effort to make new friends and adjust to life in the new country. It can be difficult to find others who will sympathize and it is common to feel misunderstood (or not understood at all).

Acceptance: when I first moved to the US, we lived in small town which had never seen a foreign student before. I was eager to meet and socialize with people who had a similar international background, but I learned quickly that I was the only one of its kind. The feeling of not belonging was very difficult, especially as a teenager desperate to fit in.

Starting Over: the concept of packing up and making a new place feel like home can be very isolating and tiring. And this issue can be two-sided as I learned later in life. My mother had a friend who quite openly told her that she would never befriend another person who is likely to move away. The time and effort invested in this friendship was obviously not worth the sacrifice for someone who is not used to starting over. Sometimes, I still wonder how widespread this feeling is.

Roots: roots, what roots? I claim I don't have any (although I recognize that I am exaggerating), especially relative to my husband who basically grew up in the same town. He has friends he is still close to dating back all the way to Kindergarten. This is an absolutely foreign concept to me. And perhaps I am a little envious because I now recognize the beauty of having a longstanding friend to turn to.

Out of sight, out of mind: by default, moving overseas disconnects you from family and friends and it is very difficult to maintain a deep relationship when life experiences seem to do nothing but pull you apart. People I was once close to begin to vanish because they can no longer relate to me and the same is true on the reverse. Stories around celebrating Christmas in Lima, Peru while on vacation seem to fall on deaf ears. I wonder why?!

Nothing is forever: this concept is a combined positive and negative outcome of leading an international life. When things are good I obviously like them to last forever; when they are bad, I find comfort in knowing firsthand that situations which are difficult will pass. The trick is in hanging tough when the knee jerk reaction would lead me to pull away just as a means to protect myself from things I find challenging.

Fear of commitment: it is almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy when I step back to realize that having moved a lot from a young age plays into the way I sometimes approach social interactions. Perhaps it is out of self-defense that I have been conditioned to question the ingredients to a successful relationship, because nothing seems worse than having to say goodbye to a dear friend.

Dilemma of personal identity: It seems I have been heavily influenced by a combination of experiences and people, and it is hard to describe who I am in just a few words. I fall back on a variety of values and beliefs depending on the circumstances. I am unique not only because there are many faces to who I am, but also because I seem to be constantly changing the perceptions I have of myself relative to others. I find this has been a tiring, never-ending emotional process.

Unhappiness with the status quo: much like it is hard to call any one place home after having grown up overseas, I find myself constantly looking for change. Lately, I have found it to be therapeutic to redecorate since we have made a commitment to stay in our current home indefinitely. This drive may create conflict or confusion for people around me who thrive on absolutes and consistency (like my husband).

Loss of time: moving long distances can be time consuming in more than one way. Due to the discrepancy of school calendars and academic assessment tools from one country to another, I was asked to repeat half of 9th grade after moving to the US. In the end, the English language was the only (temporary) barrier as the rest of the subjects were a breeze. The effects of being older than most everyone in my class remain debatable.