After (The After Series)

For now? I wonder if she means that Hardin will be here soon? I follow the
three of them to a booth, dreading the answer to that question. A question I
choose not to ask, and instead order a burger and fries. I haven’t eaten all day
and it’s past three in the afternoon.
“And I’ll make sure there is no ketchup,” the waitress says with a knowing
smile and walks back to the kitchen. Clearly she remembers the scene Hardin
made the last time I was here.
I pick at my manicured fingers as I wait for the waitress to bring me my Coke.

---

“You missed one hell of a party last night, Tessa,” Nate says. He lifts his glass
and gulps down the remainder of his beer.
“Yeah?” I smile. The most frustrating part of my relationship with Hardin is
that I never know what I’m allowed to tell people. If I were in a normal
relationship, I would respond with “Oh yeah, we had a great time last night at his
father’s wedding.” But since my relationship is far from normal, I stay quiet.
“Yeah, it was wild. We went out to the docks instead of the frat house.” He
laughs. “We get away with more at the docks and we don’t have to clean up
after.”
“Oh. Does Jace live at the docks?” I try to keep my tone neutral.
“What? No, the docks are boat docks. He works there during the day, though.
He lives close by them.”
“Oh . . .” I chew on my straw.
“It was freezing, and Tristan here was plastered and jumped into the cold-ass
water.” Steph snorts, and Tristan flips her off playfully.
“It wasn’t too bad; my body was numb the second I hit the water,” he jokes.
My food arrives along with Tristan’s wings and a round of beers for the three
of them.
“You sure you don’t want a beer? She won’t card you,” Nate tells me.
“Oh, no, I have to drive. Thanks, though.”
“So how’s your new dorm?” Steph asks and steals a fry from my plate.
“My what?”
“Your new dorm?” she repeats slowly.
“I don’t have a new dorm.” Did Hardin tell her I moved into another dorm?
“Uh, yeah, you do, because you don’t live in mine anymore. All of your stuff
was gone and Hardin said you changed dorms, that your mom flipped out on you
or something.” She takes a big swig from her beer.
I decide that I don’t care how pissed Hardin gets at me—I’m not going to lie.
I’m infuriated and embarrassed that he is still hiding our relationship. “Hardin
and I moved into an apartment,” I tell them.
“What?” Steph, Nate, and Tristan say at the same time.
“Yes, last week. We moved in together about twenty minutes from campus,” I
explain. All three of them are looking at me as if I have grown a second head.
“What?” I ask harshly.
“Nothing. It’s just . . . wow . . . I don’t know. That’s just a really huge
surprise,” Steph says.
“Why?” I snap. I know it isn’t fair to direct my anger toward her when it’s
meant for Hardin, but I can’t help it.
She frowns and looks like she’s pondering something. “I don’t know; I just

---

can’t picture Hardin living with someone, that’s all. I didn’t know you two were
that serious. I wish you would have told me.”
As I am about to ask her what she means by that, Nate’s and Tristan’s eyes
dart to the door, then back to me. When I turn around, I see Molly, Hardin, and
Jace standing in the doorway. Hardin shakes some snow from his hair and wipes
his boots on the straw mat. I turn around quickly, my heart beating out of my
chest. There are too many things going on at once: Molly is with Hardin, which
pisses me off beyond words. Jace is with Hardin, which confuses the hell out of
me. And I just told everyone that we moved in together, which they seem
unsettled by.
“Tessa.” Hardin’s voice is angry from behind me.
I look up at him, and his face is twisted in anger. He is trying to control it, I
can tell, but it’s about to boil over. “I need to talk to you,” he says through
clenched teeth.
“Right now?” I say, trying to sound casual but hard-edged.
“Yes. Now,” he answers and reaches out to grab my arm. I quickly climb out
of the booth and follow him to the corner of the small bar. “What the hell are you
doing here?” he says quietly, his face inches from mine.
“I came to hang out with Steph.” Not exactly a lie, but not the truth, either.
He calls me out. “Bullshit.” He is struggling to keep his voice down, but
we’ve already drawn the attention of more than a few patrons. “You need to go,”
he tells me.
“Excuse me?” I retort, stealing one of his famous lines.
“You need to go home.”
“Home where? Back to my new dorm?” I challenge. The color drains from his
face. “Yup, I told them. I told them that we live together—how could you not?
Do you know how stupid that makes me look? I thought we were past you trying
to keep me a secret.”
“I wasn’t . . .” he lies.
“I am sick of the secrets and deception, Hardin. Every time I think we are
doing so great—”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret. I was just waiting.” Hardin’s
thoughts seem jumbled. I can almost see the internal battle being waged behind
his green eyes. His eyes frantically scan the room, and his panic worries me.
“I can’t keep doing this—you know that, don’t you?” I tell him.
“Yeah, I know.” He sighs and pulls his lip ring between his teeth and runs his
hand through his damp hair. “Can we go home and talk about this?” he asks and
I nod.
I follow him back to the booths where everyone is seated. “We are going to

---

go,” Hardin announces.
Jace gives a sinister grin. “So soon?”
Hardin’s shoulders tense. “Yeah,” he answers.
“Back to your apartment?” Steph asks, and I shoot a glare at her. Not now, I
silently scream at her.
“Your what?” Molly cackles. I could have gone the rest of my life without
seeing her again, really.
“Their apartment; they live together,” Steph says in a singsong voice. I know
she is only trying to shove it down Molly’s throat, and usually I would applaud
her for it, but I’m too angry at Hardin to focus on Molly.
“Well, well, well.” Molly taps her long crimson nails on the table. “That’s
very interesting,” she says, staring at Hardin.
“Molly . . .” he warns. I swear I see panic flash across his face.
She raises an eyebrow. “You’re really taking this whole thing a little far, aren’t
you?”
“Molly, I swear to God, if you don’t shut the fuck up—”
“What thing? What is he taking too far?” I can’t help but ask.
“Tessa, go outside,” he commands, but I ignore him.
“No, what is he taking too far? Tell me!” I yell.
“Wait. You’re in on it, aren’t you?” She laughs and continues, “I knew it! I
told Jace you knew, but he wouldn’t believe me. Hardin, you owe Zed some big
bucks for this.” She throws her head back and stands up.
Hardin’s face is completely pale; all the blood seems to be drained from his
entire body. My head is swimming and I’m so confused. I briefly glance at Nate,
Tristan, and Steph, but they are all focused on Hardin.
“Knew what?” My voice is shaky. Hardin grabs my arm and tries to pull me
away, but I jerk out of his grip and move over to stand in front of Molly.
“Don’t play stupid with me, I know you know. What did he do? Split the
money with you?” she asks.
Hardin reaches for my hand, and his fingers are ice cold. “Tessa . . .” I jerk
away and stare at him, my eyes wide.
“Tell me! What is she talking about!” I yell to him. Tears threaten my eyes,
and I struggle to keep down all the emotions storming through me.
Hardin astounds me by opening his mouth and then closing it again.
“Oh my God, you really don’t know? Oh, this is amazing. Everyone pull up a
seat!” she mocks.
“Molly, don’t,” Steph says.
“You sure you wanna know, princess?” Molly continues, giving me a
triumphant smile.

---

I can literally hear the blood pounding behind my ears, and for a second I
wonder if everyone else can, too. “Tell me,” I demand.
She tilts her head slightly . . . but then pauses. “No, I think Hardin should tell
her.” And she starts giggling, sliding her tongue ring between her teeth, making
the most horrendous rattling, worse than nails on a chalkboard.

---

chapter ninety-seven
E
verything is happening too fast for me to comprehend. I’m confused, and
when I look around the room, I see that I’m surrounded by people who have
taunted me no matter hard I tried to fit in with them, and I know that I can’t trust
a single one of them.
What’s going on? Why is Hardin just standing there? What’s happening?
“I second that,” Jace chimes in and lifts his beer in salute. “Go on, Hardin, tell
her.”
“I . . . I will tell you outside,” Hardin says, his voice low.
I look into his brilliant eyes, which seem wild with desperation and confusion.
I don’t know what is going on, but I do know I don’t want to go anywhere with
him.
“No, you tell me here. In front of them so you can’t lie.” My heart is already
aching and I know that I am not prepared for whatever he is getting ready to tell
me.
He pauses, fidgeting with his fingers before he speaks. “I’m sorry.” He holds
his hands out in front of him. “Tessa, you have to remember that this was way
before I even knew you.” His eyes are begging for mercy.
I don’t trust my voice, and I barely open my mouth when I speak. “Tell me.”
“That night . . . that second night . . . the second party you came to, when we
played Truth or Dare . . . and Nate asked if you were a virgin . . .” He closes his
eyes as if to gather his thoughts.
Oh no. If it was possible for my heart to sink even lower, it would have. This

---

isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. Not right now. Not to me.
“Go on . . .” Jace says and leans forward like this is the best thing he’s ever
seen. Hardin shoots him daggers, and I know that if Hardin weren’t in the middle
of single-handedly destroying our relationship, he would kill that vile man on the
spot.
“You said you were . . . and that gave someone an idea—”
“Gave who the idea?” Molly interrupts.
“Me . . . gave me the idea,” he admits. His eyes never leave mine. Which
doesn’t make this any easier. “That . . . it could be fun to make . . . to make a
bet.” His head falls, and tears pour from my eyes.
“No,” I choke and take a step backward.
Confusion rams into my already-jumbled thoughts, disrupting any attempt to
make sense of them, to make sense of what I’m hearing. Confusion is quickly
replaced by a burning mixture of pain and anger. All of the memories flooding
through me pile and piece together . . .
“Stay away from him.” “Be careful.” “Sometimes you think you know people,
but you don’t.” “But Tessa, I need to tell you something.”
All of the small remarks that were made by Molly, Jace, and even Hardin
himself play over and over. There was always something in the back of my
mind, a feeling that I was missing something. All of the air seems to be sucked
out of the small room, and I find myself almost gasping as the reality of all this
sets in. There were so many clues; I just was too blinded by Hardin to see them.