After (The After Series)

Oh. He is so nice, too nice. I almost want him to tell me how disgusted he is
that I stayed the night with Hardin, that I left my boyfriend alone in my room all
night after I took his car and ran to Hardin’s rescue, just so I feel as bad as I
should.
“So are you and Hardin friends again?” he asks, and I shrug.
“I have no idea what we are. I have no idea what I’m doing. He just . . .
he . . .” I break into sobs. Landon wraps his arms around me in a warm and
comforting hug.
“It’s okay. I know he can be so terrible,” Landon says softly. Wait . . . he must
think that I’m crying because Hardin did something terrible to me. He would
probably never assume that I’m crying because of my feelings for Hardin.
I need to get out of here before I ruin Landon’s good opinion of me and before
Hardin wakes up. “I have to go. Noah is waiting,” I say, and Landon gives me a
sympathetic smile before saying goodbye.
I get into Noah’s car and drive back to my dorm as fast as I can, crying most

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of the way there. How will I explain this all to Noah? I know I have to—I can’t
lie to him. I just can’t imagine how much this will hurt him.
I’m a terrible person for doing this to him. Why couldn’t I just stay away from
Hardin?
I’ve calmed myself as much as I can before I pull into the student lot. I walk
as slow as I can, unsure how I’m going to face Noah.
When I open the door to our room, I find Noah lying back on my small bed,
staring at the ceiling. He jumps up when he sees me come in.
“Jesus, Tessa! Where have you been all night? I’ve been calling you nonstop!”
he shouts. This is the first time Noah has ever actually raised his voice at me.
We’ve bickered before, but this is a little scary to see.
“I am so, so sorry, Noah. I went to Landon’s house because Hardin was drunk
and he was breaking things, and the time just got lost, I guess, so by the time we
cleaned up, it was really late and my phone was dead,” I lie.
I can’t believe I’m lying straight to his face—all the times he has been there
for me, and here I am lying to him. I know I should tell him but I can’t imagine
hurting him.
“Why didn’t you use someone else’s phone?” he says forcefully, but then
pauses. “Never mind—Hardin was breaking stuff? Are you okay? Why did you
stay there if he was being violent?”
I feel like he is asking me a thousand questions at once, disorienting me.
“He wasn’t being violent; he was just drunk. He wouldn’t hurt me,” I say and
cover my mouth, desperately wishing I could push those last words back in.
“What do you mean he wouldn’t hurt you? You don’t even know him, Tessa,”
he snaps and takes a step toward me.
“I’m just saying that he wouldn’t hurt me like physically. I know him well
enough to know that. I was just trying to help Landon, who was there, too,” I say
back.
But Hardin would hurt me, emotionally—he already has, and I’m sure he will
try again. And here I am defending him.
“I thought you were going to stop hanging around those type of people?
Didn’t you promise me and your mom that you would? Tessa, they aren’t good
for you. You’ve started drinking and staying out all night, and you left me here
all night—I don’t know why you even had me come here if you were just going
to leave.” He sits down on the bed and rests his head on his hands.
“They aren’t bad people; you don’t know them. When did you become so
judgmental?” I ask him. I should be begging for him to forgive me for how badly
I’ve treated him, but I can’t help but be irritated by the way he’s talking about
my friends.

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Mostly Hardin, my subconscious reminds me, and I want to slap her.
“I am not judgmental, but you would have never hung out with those Goth
people before.”
“What? They aren’t Gothic, Noah, they’re just themselves,” I say. I am as
surprised by the defiance in my words as Noah is.
“Well, I don’t like you hanging out with them—they’re changing you. You
aren’t the same Tessa that I fell in love with.” I realize then that his tone hasn’t
been malicious at all. It’s just sad.
“Well, Noah—” I begin, and the door flies open. My eyes follow Noah’s to an
angry Hardin storming into the room.
I look at Hardin, then at Noah, and back to Hardin. There is no way this is
going to go well.

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chapter thirty-six
W
hat are you doing here?” I ask Hardin, even though I do not want to hear the
answer, especially not in front of Noah.
“What do you think? You snuck out on me while I was asleep—what the hell
was that?!” he booms. I hold my breath as his voice echoes off the wall. Noah’s
face flashes with anger and I know that he’s beginning to put the puzzle pieces
together.
And I’m torn between trying to explain to Noah what is going on and trying to
explain to Hardin why I left.
“Answer me!” Hardin yells and stands in front of my face. I’m surprised when
Noah steps between us.
“Don’t yell at her,” he warns Hardin.
I’m frozen in place while Hardin’s face twists in anger. Why is he so mad that
I left? He was mocking my inexperience last night, and would have kicked me
out this morning probably anyway. I need to say something before this all blows
up in my face.
“Hardin . . . please don’t do this right now,” I beg. If he leaves now, I can try
to explain to Noah what is going on.
“Do what, Theresa?” Hardin asks and walks around Noah. I hope Noah keeps
his distance. I don’t think Hardin will hesitate to take him down. Noah is pretty
buff from soccer, especially compared to Hardin’s lean body, but I have no doubt
that Hardin can hold his own, and most likely win.
What the hell is happening in my life that I have to worry about Noah and

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Hardin fighting?
“Hardin, please just go and we will talk about this later,” I say, trying to
defuse things.
But Noah just shakes his head. “Talk about what? What the hell is going on,
Tessa?”
Oh God.
“Tell him; go on and tell him,” Hardin says.
I can’t believe he is doing this. I know how cruel he can be, but this takes it to
a whole other level.
“Tell me what, Tessa?” Noah asks, and I can see his stance is an aggressive
one, because of Hardin, but it’s softening as he wonders about me.
“Nothing, just what you know, that I stayed at Hardin and Landon’s last
night,” I lie. I try to match my gray eyes to Hardin’s in hopes that he will stop
this now, but he looks away immediately.
“Tell him, Tessa, or I will,” Hardin growls.
I know it’s all lost. I know there’s no hiding anything anymore, and I begin to
cry. But I want Noah to hear it from me, not the smirking asshole who’s brought
us to this point. I’m humiliated—not for myself, but for Noah. He doesn’t
deserve any of this, and I’m ashamed of the way I’ve treated him and the
confessions I’m going to be forced to make in front of Hardin. “Noah . . . I . . .
me and Hardin have been . . .” I start.
“Oh my God,” Noah stutters, and his eyes begin to water.