This quiet place of renewal can be under a table
or out in the yard or in
a cozy chair set up in a quiet corner. It is not in front of the television. The
idea is not to distract but to soothe with an activity that will make your
child feel better about himself and teach him
a creative method of calming
down that will serve him his whole life.
V
A R I A T I O N S
Teach your child this self-calming technique of taking deep breaths and
consciously calming himself.
1. Say to yourself “I’m calming down.”
2. Count to five slowly.
3. Take three deep breaths with one hand on
your belly so that you can
feel it rise on the in-breath.
Practice it yourself and show it to your little one when he is already calm.
Rehearse it more than once on different days. This way, when fears, anger,
and anxieties come up, he’ll already have a method for dealing with them.
When children have excess energy and need
large motor movements to
release it, jumping on a mini-trampoline or punching a punching
bag or running outside can be a way of regrouping.
W
H A T
’
S
B
E I N G
L
E A R N E D
Children are learning self-calming skills. When
we are angry
or confused or we lose control, we can
go to a quiet
place to sort things out and make ourselves feel
better. This will put
us in a better frame of mind
to deal with the problem.
Because this is a life lesson everyone needs,
it is also helpful if children see you doing some-
thing similar when you
are feeling frustrated or
angry. “I’m feeling frustrated now and need
some regroup time. I’m going to go
write in my journal for a while. I’ll
be back
when I’ve calmed myself down.”
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