Barnes. Pdf

 
Chapters 
21
to the humble church of Saint-Michel, and was pleased by their devotion and true faith. And how, having first as was his 
custom given his general blessing to the villagers of Mamirolle from the step of the church, he went in procession up the nave 
of the church, followed at subservient distance by his flock, and prostrated himself, even in the finery of his apparel, before the 
altar, just as Jesus Christ prostrated himself before his Almighty Father. Then he rose, ascended the simple step to the altar, 
turned to face the congregation, and lowered himself upon his throne. Oh malevolent day! Oh malevolent invaders! And how 
the Bishop fell, striking his head upon the altar step and being hurled against his will into a state of imbecility. And how, when 
the Bishop and his retinue had departed, bearing off the Bishop in a state of imbecility, the terrified petitioners did examine the 
Bishop's throne and discover in the leg that had tumbled down like the walls of Jericho a vile and unnatural infestation of 
woodworm, and how these woodworm, having secretly and darkly gone about their devilish work, had so devoured the leg that 
the Bishop did fall like mighty Daedalus from the heavens of light into the darkness of imbecility. And how, being much 
fearful of the wrath of God, the petitioners did climb up to the roof of the church of Saint-Michel and examine the cradle in 
which the throne had rested for three hundred and sixty four days of the year, and how they found that woodworm had also 
infested the cradle so that it broke apart when they touched it and fell sacrilegiously down upon the altar steps, and how the 
timbers of the roof were all found to be vilely tainted by those diabolic bestioles, which made the petitioners apprehensive for 
their own lives, since they are both poor and devout, and their poverty would not permit them to build a new church, while 
their devotion commands them to worship their Holy Father as fervently as they have always done and in a sacred place not 
among the fields and woods. 
Hear, Gentlemen, therefore, the petition of these humble villagers, wretched as the grass beneath the foot. They are 
accustomed to many plagues, to the locusts that darken the sky like the hand of God passing over the sun, to the ravages of rats
[p. 65] 
that lay waste as did the boar to the environs of Calydon as narrated by Homer in the first book of the Iliad, to the weevil which 
devours the grain in their winter storehouse. How much more vile and malevolent, therefore, is this plague which attacks the 
grain which the villagers have stored up in Heaven by their humble piety and their payment of tithes. For these malefactors, 
disrespectful even to this day of your court, have offended God by attacking his House, they have offended his spouse the 
Church by casting Hugo, Bishop of Besançon, into the darkness of imbecility, they have offended these petitioners by 
threatening to bring the framework and fabric of their church tumbling down upon the innocent heads of children and infants 
even as the village is at prayer, and it is therefore right and reasonable and necessary for the court to injunct and enjoin these 
animals to quit their habitation, to withdraw from the House of God, and for the court to pronounce upon them the necessary 
anathemata and excommunications prescribed by our Holy Mother, the Church, for which your petitioners do ever pray. 
Plaidoyer des insectes 
Since, Gentlemen, it has pleased you to appoint me procurator for the bestioles in this case, I shall endeavour to explain to the 
court how the charges against them are null and void, and how the case must be non-suited. To begin with, I confess I am 
astonished that my clients, who have committed no crime, have been treated as if they were the worst criminals known to this 
court, and that my clients, though notoriously dumb, have been summoned to explain their behaviour as if they were 
accustomed to employ the human tongue while going about their daily business. I shall, in all humility, attempt to make my 
speaking tongue do service for their silent tongue. 
Since you have permitted me to speak on behalf of these unfortunate animals, I will state, in the first place, that this court 
lacks the jurisdiction to try the defendants, and that the summons issued against them has no validity, for it implies that 
[p. 66] 
the recipients are endowed with reason and volition, being thereby capable both of committing a crime and of answering a 
summons for the trial of the said crime. Which is not the case, since my clients are brute beasts acting only from instinct, and 
which is confirmed by the first book of the Pandects, at the paragraph Si quadrupes, where it is written Nec enim potest animal