Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework

uncontained-unfree. Leaving (line 6) 
seems to draw out fears of not feeling 
her own existence, a stranded place 
where she feels sick as if being sick 
takes her to an uncomfortable/familiar 
place of merger where she has no sense 
of her own boundaries unless she is 
supported, like a baby by another.
Feeling the safety offered by the counselling (lines 1-6) seems to enable the participant to get in 
touch with how she really feels. Her desire to contain and feel her own affect appears to be 
brought about by feeling the safety within the setting, as if she has no Beast with which to 
protect herself. When she accesses her own feeling she is in a frightening place (line 7) where 
she hardly seems to exist, like Beauty, with no voice of her own. It seems that feeling safe 
enables internal movement. The fact that the participant seems to access her own feelings could 
also suggest a move „towards containment-freedom‟ which seems to demonstrate how all the 
categories may be present in a counselling session. This shows the importance of being able to 

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look at the interrelationships between categories, how one leads to another and may even 
incorporate the other. In this sense this whole section could also be put into the category of 
towards containment-freedom but then the movement of the participant may not be so apparent. 
Defining categories is complicated, but looking from different perspectives does seem to 
demonstrate movement. It seems possible that the way the participants were asked to write did 
encourage a condensing of thoughts and feelings which perhaps makes movement more obvious. 
 
4.3.2. Overcontained-overfree
Just as I experienced anxiety and confusion following trauma and expressed these feelings in my 
writing which displayed opposition, so expressions in the participants‟ journals were found that 
suggested opposition. These expressions were often related to way participants felt that others 
(internal and external others) had expectations of them as if like Beauty they had to follow 
others‟ expectations rather than having their own. Sometimes there were derogatory thoughts 
about themselves which seemed to come from the past and from how others had viewed them. 
The participants felt that these internal voices did not really belong to them yet felt that they had 
to be listened to, but they also wanted to have their own thoughts and feelings. The words in this 
category are very varied but tend to suggest repetitive movement of some kind which reflects the 
felt confusion: 

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Table ii. To show words that suggest anxiety and confusion
Stomach churning 
Palpitations
Uncertainty
Confusion
Frustrated
Second best 
Shaken foundations 
Rocked
Anxiety
What if I got it wrong 
Falling and flailing
Over and over and over 
Panic
Sick
Agitated
Coming apart 
Shattering 
Jumbled
Rushing
Rambling
Surge
Impatient
Overwhelmed
Stupid 
Tap that will not turn off
Nervous
Where to settle 
Pin me down
Mixed up 
Selfish
Felt used 
Others push me back 
Stirs within 
A few of the words like confusion, anxiety and frustration appear in more than one journal. 
While other phrases may only appear in one journal like „falling and flailing‟, meanings may be 
seen as similar. For example „stomach churning‟ may be seen as similar to „over and over and 
over‟ in that both describe a repetitive movement. Also phrases like „where to settle‟ and „pin me 
down‟ both seem to describe an inability to keep still in the internal world. It is as if their internal 
splits keep them moving around. 

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Extract 3. Journal entry to show the category overcontained-overfree 
1. Pouring out, emptying, of 
2. emotions, jumbled and confused. 
3. cloudiness of feelings like 
4. a muddy glass of water, 
5. shaken and mixed up. Gradually 
6. a pulling together a way 
7. of clearing the mist, a 
8. sense of putting each part 
9. of the confusion 
10. in its place. 
11. A cooler calmness coming 
12. over me. 
After a three week break from sessions 
the client returns and seems to be full of 
confusion - overcontained-overfree - 
and cannot see clearly - imaged in the 
muddy glass of water (line 4). She seems 
shaken up by the break as if she has not 
been able to contain her feelings over 
that time. But perhaps what she fights is 
her anger with the counsellor as she 
empties (line 1) herself over the 
counsellor. Perhaps the real confusion is 
that she fights the containment of her 
own feelings and projects them out over 
the counsellor. When she has done this 
she seems to see more clearly (line7) as 
if she has been blinded by anger. The 
„cooler calmness‟ is perhaps the 
counsellor whose presence enables the 
client to begin to move towards the 
containment of her own feelings.
The participant appeared aware of emptying her emotions out in the session. Perhaps she was not 
aware of her anger towards the counsellor. This seems to be confirmed by the image of the 
„muddy glass of water‟ (the break from counselling) that was not fit to drink. The words the 
participant uses both hide and display her internal world. Her anger is hidden in that it is never 
actually mentioned and yet it becomes visible through interaction with the text. The process that 
seems to be demonstrated here is that the client‟s fight to both free and contain her own feelings 
happens consciously and unconsciously. Consciously she is aware of pouring out feelings and of 
the „good‟ counsellor who enables her to do this. Unconsciously she throws her anger at the 
„bad‟ counsellor who takes breaks, but who perhaps enables the transformation into the „cooler 

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calmness‟ that comes over the client. It feels like seeing Bion‟s maternal reverie (1962; 1970) in 
process, as if the client‟s anger is returned transformed in a more acceptable form. Or perhaps the 
Beast is unconsciously acknowledged by the „calmer‟ Beauty.