Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework
participants seem to tell themselves very clearly what they want to do or must do as if they
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Beauty and the Beast ( PDFDrive )
6.3.3.Exhortations to self
The participants seem to tell themselves very clearly what they want to do or must do as if they exhort themselves to give themselves confidence. In week fifteen of her journal Alice seems to do this several times: Extract 24. From a journal to show an exhortation to the self. Line 1. Concentrate on blankness Line 2. Split in half Line 3. How much do I want to find me? Line 4. Jealous of energy Line 5. Want it for me Line 6. Came in in fragments, went out Line 7. more whole. Line 8. Don‟t share T‟s burdens. Line 9. Say how I feel. Tell him how Line 10. he‟s made me feel. Be it. Alice makes four exhortations to herself during this entry and they appear to enable her to shift internally. These exhortations may be seen by the way she tells herself to do things like „concentrate on blankness‟, „want it for me‟, ‟say how I feel‟, and „be it‟. Four extracts from the analysis are included to demonstrate this movement: Extract 24a. From the analysis to show internal movement. She appears to start the session by concentrating on her own blankness (line 1). She exhorts herself to do this as if there is a determination to cut off and be defensive. She sees that she is split in half (line 2), a strong image, that seems to help her see, with the exhortation, that there is a part of herself that she cuts off from, as well as naming her present split condition. 157 Extract 24b. From the analysis to show internal movement. She is jealous of another‟s energy (line 4.) and wants it for herself (line 5) as if she can see in others the potential she has in herself. It is as if she is telling herself to have this energy. Extract 24c. From the analysis to show internal movement. She exhorts herself to tell him how she feels (line 9.) as if she needs to demonstrate that she is different. She perhaps wants to give him back his projections. Extract 24d. From the analysis to show internal movement. She exhorts herself to „Be it‟ (line10), as if she is telling herself that she needs to be her feelings. But it also seems possible that a part of her still does not want to share her internal world, her burdens, with the counsellor, and is perhaps angry with her. If this story about „T‟ symbolizes something of the client‟s relationship with the counsellor perhaps she is also wanting to „be it‟, that is be her feelings in this setting. And perhaps part of that being is the anger she may feel with the counsellor for enabling her to be more aware of her feelings, and more aware of her way of looking at the external world from her defended spy hole. Such exhortations to the self also help to demonstrate how the journals became part of the participant‟s journey through counselling, for they are writing to and for themselves as opposed to only writing to comply with my requests as the researcher. The length of the journals and the personal way they are written seems to confirm that they wrote as much, if not more for 158 themselves, than they did for me. This is confirmed by one of the participants. In a letter written to me by Wriggling Fish before she had the opportunity to feedback on the analysis, she wrote: “I was reminded as I listened, of my participation in your research and I remembered how very helpful and insightful that was for me as a client - to write a few lines of lasting impressions of the session and of how helpful it was to read back through all the sessions to see the movement and to remember the moments of excitement and enlightenment and also the deep darkness at times” (WF). Download 1.47 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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