Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework
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Beauty and the Beast ( PDFDrive )
1.3.1. Containment, freedom and opposition
The processes of exploring myself following trauma led to an exploration of the nature of containment in the client in a counselling relationship. My difficulty in learning to contain, within the structure of the self, events and consequences that felt un-containable led to an increased awareness of this personal construct (Kelly 1963). The more that was discovered about containment the more its opposite - freedom - crept into this expanding field as these constructs became powerful opponents, yet necessary allies. Somehow they became more than constructs or notions, they became living breathing aspects of me. Opposition seemed to invade every aspect of life and slowly became as familiar and necessary as the air we breathe to maintain life. Yet this idea of opposition also changed as it came to be seen as a polarity (Koch 1959; Jung 1961; 1969; Bischof 1964; Wallace and Findley 1975; Bartal and Ne‟eman 1993; Field 1994) where both aspects of opposition (i.e. containment and freedom) are in essential relation to each other enabling growth and movement within the person. The opposition between such new realms, and new ways of being in the world with trauma became a catalyst for change (Reason and Rowan1981; Etherington 2005) and forward movement. The attraction (Fromm 1941; Kelly 14 1963; Bischof 1964; Jung 1969) of opposites became more meaningful as this dynamic movement, between opposites, was felt within myself. This passion to explore such apparently theoretical concepts was hewn out of personal experience (Polanyi 1958), which was felt as a real and concrete phenomenon of internal and external worlds. Taking on personal experience and creating a poetic narrative (Etherington 2004) of that experience brought me to an apprehension of learning that may never have been experienced without it. The progression towards this study needed the therapeutic relationship, counsellor training and finding meaning, as contextual structures that were woven together through writing poetry. Context enables the journey towards personal meaning for “without context, words and actions have no meaning at all” (Bateson 1979; 15). The random pathways created by chaos held hands with the dynamics of reflexivity in order to find new contexts within an unknown world. The imbalance of having no context was experienced, while holding onto known contexts provided opposition, which in turn created movement (Bischof 1964; Jung 1969). Imbalance may be seen in nature for example when rain and sunshine co-exist in close proximity and create a rainbow. This was known before the murder, but the difference now is that I have felt it, suffered it internally and transformed it (Bion 1983; Etherington 2004). The delicately balanced structure of freedom (Fromm 1962) to choose growth has become the archaeology of my experience. Gutting (2005), looking at Foucault‟s writing, suggests that: “archaeology emphasizes that the stage on which we enact our history – as well as much of the script – is established independently of our thoughts and actions.” (34) 15 In this way my both conscious and unconscious history, thoughts and actions impact on my story and the story of this research, as I use my expertise as a former client (Resnik 1995) to explore unfolding processes (Marshall 1999) in others. Being willing to examine my own responses and reactions within the research process became a constant of the study. For example grief and loss experienced during the research created changes in my life and impacted on the study. My responses to grief become visible in the work as I realize that changes in the study occur because of these experiences. Grief initially took me away from the research back to writing poetry. But this grief writing also led me to the possibility of writing the findings poems (chapter 7) as I made connections about the research and my writing. In this way my voice grew stronger. I found a new confidence in the way the voice of poetry was influencing the whole study almost as if it took on a life of its own which I had to hear and use. This new voice enlarged the study for the containment that poetry provides seems to create a containment and freedom, a power, which is not present in the everyday use of language (Finch 2005). A dictionary definition describes containment as: “The act or policy of preventing the spread beyond certain limits of a power or influence regarded as hostile” (Chambers 1983; 270). From my experiences and for the purpose of this research containment has come to be understood as an internal attitude (or internal hostile power) within the internal world of the client which may imprison the client in that it limits emotional growth or movement. However internal containment may also be experienced as holding and reparative, and therefore growth promoting. Freedom is understood as an internal attitude which may be liberating in that it prevents the client from being bound by internal oppressive rules. In this way, like containment, it may lead to emotional growth. But internal freedom may also be experienced as destructive in that too 16 much freedom may lead to anarchy and such disorder may inhibit emotional growth. The dual aspects of containment and freedom suggest that each concept may lead to internal feelings of opposition within the client. Just as I wanted to contain difficult experiences but also wanted freedom from them, a client may want to be loved and not want to be loved at the same time. Such opposition led to the idea of polarity. For this study polarity is understood as the opposition within an internal desire where both wanting and not wanting are the two poles of that desire. Chapter 2 looks at opposition as a polarity, a necessary duality that may enable emotional growth within the individual. The opposition between containment and freedom as internal concepts is investigated with reference to established theory. In chapters 4, 5 and 6 the opposition in the participants‟ narratives is felt in their words. Download 1.47 Mb. Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
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