Copyright 2018 by Colleen Hoover

love with a whore.”
“A former whore,” I clarified.
I had been wrong about the look he had gotten in his eye. He didn’t fuck me
that night. He made love to me. Kissed every inch of my body. Made me lie still
while he teased me and tortured me, when all I wanted to do was suck his dick.
Every time I tried to move, to take over, he would stop me.
I don’t know why I got so much pleasure out of pleasing him, but I liked it
more than being pleased. That’s probably defined in the love languages or some
bullshit. My love language was acts of service. Jeremy’s love language was
getting his dick sucked. We were a perfect match.
He was moments from climax when one of the girls started crying. He
groaned, and I rolled my eyes, and we both reached for the monitor. Him to look
at them. Me to turn it off.
I could feel him growing softer inside me, so I pulled the plug out of the
back of the monitor. We could still hear the cries coming from down the
hallway, but I was certain I could drown them out if he’d just resume where we
left off.
“I’ll go check,” he said, trying to roll off me. I pulled him back to the bed
and climbed on top of him.
“I’ll go when you finish. Let her cry for a few minutes. It’s good for them.”
He didn’t seem comfortable with that, but once my mouth was back on his
dick, he accepted it.
I’d gotten so much better at swallowing compared to the first time I
attempted it. I could feel him ready to come, so I pretended I was gagging. I
don’t know why, but that always set him off, thinking I was choking on his cock.
Men. He groaned, and I forced him farther down my throat with another gurgling
sound, and then it was over. I swallowed, wiped my mouth, and then stood up.

---

“Go to sleep. I can deal with it.”
I actually wanted to deal with it this time. It was the first time I’d ever felt
anything other than irritation at the thought of having to feed them. But I wanted
to feed Chastin. Hold her, cuddle her, love her. I was excited when I approached
their bedroom.
But that excitement turned to irritation as soon as I saw that it was Harper
who was crying.
How disappointing.
Their cribs were head to head, and I was surprised Chastin was sleeping
through Harper’s screams. I walked past Harper and looked down at Chastin.
It hurt how much I felt for her in that moment. It hurt how much I wanted
Harper to shut up.
I lifted Chastin out of her crib and carried her to the rocking chair. When I
sat down with her, she stirred in my arms. I thought about my dream and how
terrified I was to see Harper trying to hurt her. I thought I might cry just from the
thought of losing her someday. At the thought of it all one day possibly coming
true.
Maybe what I felt was mother’s intuition. Maybe, deep down, I knew
something terrible was going to happen to Chastin, and that’s why I had been
given that immense and sudden love for her. What if it was the universe’s way of
telling me to love that baby girl as much and as hard as I possibly could, because
I wouldn’t have her for as long as I would have Harper?
Maybe that was why I felt nothing for Harper yet. Because Chastin was the
one whose life was going to be cut short. She would die, and then Harper would
be the only one left.
I knew, somewhere inside me, I must have been burying the love I had for
Harper. Saving it for after my time with Chastin.
I squeezed my eyes shut, getting a headache from Harper’s screaming. Shut
the fuck up! Crying, crying, crying! I’m trying to bond with my baby!
I tried to ignore it for a few more minutes, but I was afraid it would concern
Jeremy. I eventually put Chastin back in her bed, surprised she was still asleep.