A prep course for the month-long World Cup soccer tournament, a worldwide pheno

 my God , she 's dead ! '' I screamed , leaping out of bed and sobbing hysterica

lly . Then I realized it was 3 in the morning and she was probably just sleeping

 , which made me feel a lot better , although frankly the dream was still bother

ing me . The point ( yes , yes , there is a point to all this ) is that there is

 no escaping the Flintstones anymore , not even when you sleep . After weeks of 

relentless hype , `` The Flintstones '' movie has finally opened . And if the tr

ailers for this baby are any indication , it looks goofy enough to make `` The A

ddams Family '' look like `` Citizen Kane . '' Naturally , the inevitable commer

cialization has also begun , and we 're being asked to buy Flintstones backpacks

 , Flintstones lunch pails , Flintstones posters and all sorts of Flintstones to

ys . The whole business is getting ugly . I was at McDonald 's the other day , a

nd I asked the 16-year-old Metallica disciple behind the counter for a diet soda

 . Suddenly , his eyes shone with the eerie glow of the true company fanatic , a

nd he said : `` You want a Bedrock mug ? '' `` I .. . just want a Diet Coke , ''

 I said . Which apparently was the wrong thing to say , because now he was pound

ing his fist on the counter and almost shouting : `` But we have Bedrock mugs ! 

'' Bedrock mugs , Flintstones Happy Meals .. . our society keeps unraveling at a

n astonishing pace . But this is what happens when a potential blockbuster movie

 is accompanied by a $ 100 million marketing campaign . People get carried away 

. In the New York Times , the movie 's director , Brian Levant , was quoted as s

aying of the Flintstones : `` They are spokesmen , celebrated figures in our cul

ture . You don't make a Pez dispenser out of just anyone . '' Well , no , but ..

 . does anyone else have a problem with the idea of Fred and Barney as spokesmen

 ? Me , when I think of a spokesman , I think of , oh , Henry Kissinger . Or may

be James Earl Jones . I don't think of .. . Barney Rubble . Besides , I 'm not s

ure how much clout Barney brings to the world of product endorsement . If I come

 out with a new line of , say , radial tires , I don't think I want Barney Rubbl

e hawking them for me on TV . Look , maybe you can get away with plastering Barn

ey 's homely mug on a children 's vitamin . But seeing it on a pair of Michelin 

P215/70SR14 's is not going to fill the average tire customer with confidence . 

This is probably neither here nor there , but I find this whole outbreak of Flin

tstones mania puzzling , since the original TV series wasn't that hot to begin w

ith . Let 's face it , Bedrock itself was a nothing little burg . A rock quarry 

, 20 or 30 dreary ranchers with a quarter-acre of property , that was about it .

 What was it Gertrude Stein said about Oakland : `` There 's no there there '' ?

 Look , Oakland is Paris in the springtime compared with Bedrock . Plus , let 's

 face it , Fred was an unbelievably dense human being who always seemed as if he

 'd just had an anvil dropped on his head . Wilma 's voice sounded like a heavy 

appliance being dragged across linoleum . Betty could fill out a saber-toothed-t

iger skin but seemed to operate in a giggly haze of prescription sedatives . And

 Barney .. . Barney was nothing more than a yes-man for Fred . Barney had no bac

kbone . If Fred said jump , Barney said : `` How high ? '' Don't get me started 

on those bratty kids , either . Pebbles , Bam-Bam .. . this is why they used to 

build reform schools . The thing is , I 'll probably end up seeing `` The Flints

tones '' like every other sucker . I 'll pony up 350 bucks , or whatever it cost

s to drag three kids to see a movie these days . Then I 'll settle back with a b

ig tub of popcorn soaked in artery-clogging coconut oil to see what all the fuss

 is about . I will not , however , be buying any Barney Rubble radials .

 WASHINGTON The Clinton administration , still working to fill the 325 top jobs 

in executive departments , is inching closer to its goal . But as of the end of 

April , 67 of those senior positions ( 20.6 percent ) remained unfilled and 41 h

ad no nominees pending , according to a report by Rogelio Garcia of the Congress

ional Research Service . The slowest departments to fill were Justice , with 37.

9 percent of its positions vacant , Treasury ( 30.4 percent ) and Transportation

 ( 30 percent ) . The speedsters were Housing and Urban Development and the Labo

r Department , which had all positions filled by April 30 , and Health and Human

 Services , which had 94.7 percent filled .

 The United Nations allocated monies so that ships sailing through international

 waters could supply peoples around the world with food . This description of a 

hypothetical act of mercy may make you exclaim , `` Mercy ! I knew the U.N. was 

pluralistic , but why so many plurals ? Why not just say ` money , ' ` water ' a

nd ` people ' ? '' True enough , there 's rarely a need to pluralize these colle

ctive nouns . But when they are pluralized , it changes their meaning . The use 

of `` moneys '' ( or `` monies '' ) , for instance , implies that the moola in q

uestion has either been acquired from several sources or distributed to several 

different recipients . `` Moneys '' is most often used when referring to spendin

g by governments , corporations or international agencies . Thus , when there ar

e two or more winners in a state lottery drawing , the lucky ticket holders coul

d justifiably sing in unison , `` We 're in the monies ! '' Although some say th

at `` monies '' is not a proper plural because there 's no singular `` mony , ''

 ( please , no letters from the public relations department at Mutual of New Yor

k claiming otherwise ) , a tidy sum of others , believing that pluralization is 

a money-splendored thing , say `` monies '' is on the `` money . '' Now let 's s

ail into troubled `` waters . '' `` Waters , '' of course , can simply be the pl

ural of `` water . '' `` I don't want any of these waters , '' your son whines a

t midnight , rejecting the five glasses that you , the Father of Waters , and yo

ur wife `` Mrs. Sippie , '' have dutifully delivered to his bedside . But `` wat

ers '' also carries three specific meanings : any body of water ( `` Cayuga 's w

aters '' ) , a stretch of ocean under a political jurisdiction ( `` internationa

l waters '' ) or the mineral water at a spa . ( Thus , Humphrey Bogart was not m

isinformed , at least grammatically speaking , when he said , `` I came to Casab

lanca for the waters . '' ) As for `` peoples , '' this word refers not to peopl

e in general , but to a collection of entire cultures , religions and nations , 

such as the Ashanti people , the Navajo people and the French people . Thus , th

e phrase `` supply peoples around the world '' implies that assistance is being 

given to people of many distinct cultures . Sometimes , to paraphase Barbra Stre

isand , there are `` peoples who need people . ''

 A week from Monday , all eyes will be on Normandy for the 50th anniversary of o

ne of history 's great moments , D-Day . Now , here 's a question : What importa

nt 50th anniversary will occur two days earlier , on June 4 ? You 're hesitating

 . Nobody else seems to remember either . It 's the Allied liberation of Rome , 

the first enemy capital to fall . Both events are related . The final drive to R

ome , and even the date it occurred , had a lot to do with Normandy . By keeping

 large German forces busy in Italy , Allied troops at great cost to themselves p

ermitted the gigantic Normandy buildup to proceed . At the same time , the Allie

d high command in Italy was determined to grab world attention in the hours befo

re the landings in France would wipe the Italian campaign off the front pages . 

At that stage of the war , hopes were high that the twin blows within 48 hours o

n two major battlefields would hasten Germany 's collapse . Of course , that did

 not happen . It took almost another year to reach V-E Day . So today Italy has 

become the Forgotten Front . Tens of thousands of veterans , families and friend

s are expected to pack the Normandy beaches to celebrate that anniversary . But 

hardly anyone will notice a smaller gathering in Rome on Saturday at which survi

vors of the Italian campaign commemorate the occasion . -O- Let 's look back . F

rom the fall of '43 through half of '44 , thousands of GIs spent bloody months b

attling Italy 's `` mud , mules and mountains '' as well as Germans . A lot of o

ur guys are still there , in a handful of eerily quiet cemeteries . As early as 

September of '43 , Allied strategy included an attempt to reach Rome . The Itali

an military chiefs had decided to depose Mussolini and desert their Nazi partner

s , and they desperately wanted help against expected German vengeance when the 

double-cross became public . During secret negotiations that summer , the Allies

 agreed to drop the U.S. 82nd Airborne Division on Rome hours before Allied forc

es began the invasion of Italy at Salerno 200 miles south of the capital . Deter

mined to learn whether the Italians could protect his troops , Maj. Gen. Matthew

 Ridgway , the paratroop commander , had his deputy , Brig. Gen. Maxwell Taylor 

, slip secretly into Rome . At midnight , a few hours before Ridgway 's schedule

d takeoff from Sicily , Taylor woke up the new head of government , Marshal Piet

ro Badoglio . The sleepy Badoglio confirmed the worst : The Germans had seized c

ontrol of Rome and the American paratroopers faced slaughter by some of Hitler '

s toughest battalions . As the clock ticked toward H-Hour , Taylor 's alarming m

essage was relayed to Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower ; Ike ordered the mission aborte

d , but Ridgway could not be reached at his Sicily headquarters . Ridgway began 

launching his paratroop-laden planes . But almost by a miracle , the cancellatio

n message found him in time to call his boys back . `` It was a goddam close all

 , '' one participant in the drama recalled . Eisenhower later commented about T

aylor 's mission into Rome : `` The risks he ran were greater than I asked any o

ther agent or emissary to undertake during the war . .. . Every minute ( he ) wa

s in imminent danger of discovery and death . '' After a desperate battle on the

 Salerno beaches , the invasion forces managed to move ahead and capture Naples 

in October . But German defenses stiffened during a deadly fall and winter . In 

January , the Allies carried out a successful end run with an amphibious landing

 at Anzio , but over-cautious leadership kept them pinned down for the next four

 months . Finally , in May , they broke out of the Anzio beachhead and began the

 race for Rome . Allied strategy called for British troops to advance into and t

hrough the capital while American troops pursued and cut off the retreating Germ

ans . But the 5th Army commander , Lt. Gen. Mark Clark , wanted Rome for the Ame

ricans and above all for himself . An astute practitioner of public relations , 

he ordered the main body of U.S. forces to change course and speed to Rome . Maj

. Gen. Geoffrey Keyes candidly told the Associated Press why Clark was in such a

 big hurry . `` France is going to be invaded , and we 've got to get this in th

e papers before then . '' When a unit commander insisted his men would need the 

rest of the day to overcome German artillery , Keyes told him , `` That will not

 do . General Clark must be across the city limits by 4 o' clock . '' `` Why ? '

' he was asked . `` Because he has to have a photograph taken . '' Clark reached

 the photogenic heights of Capitoline Hill in time to pose for pictures . On Jun

e 6 , when a subordinate woke him up to give him the first bulletins of the Norm

andy landings , Clark was heard to grumble , `` Those SOBs can't they even let u

s have the headlines for one day ! '' Clark 's actions still cause controversy ,

 bringing bitter criticism that he had sacrificed the opportunity to destroy Ger

man forces for the prestige and publicity of being first into Rome . -O- I was o

ne of six Army reporters for the GI newspaper Stars & Stripes who came into the 

city on the heels of the entering troops . We rushed over to Rome 's leading dai

ly , Il Messaggero , and asked the staff to help us put out a paper . They were 

delighted but confessed they didn't know any English . We admitted we didn't kno

w any Italian either . So while the fighting soldiers chased the Germans out of 

Rome , we writing soldiers went to work , filling the paper with our stories and

 accounts by civilian correspondents . As copies rolled off the presses , we gra

bbed them and stood out on the broad , sunny boulevards of the Eternal City , ha

nding them out to surprised GIs . Before the last German was gone from Rome , we

 had published the first issue of the Rome edition of Stars & Stripes , under th

e headline , in big type , `` WE ' RE IN ROME . '' The next day , June 6 , world

 headlines exploded with Normandy landings , and our Stars & Stripes , in type t

wice as big as the day before , screamed , `` INVASION . '' In those heady days 

it seemed reasonable to link the double Rome-Normandy punch to a quick end of th

e war . A soldier in a weapons carrier put it this way : `` It willn't be long n

ow till Jerry gives in , I hope . Rome and the Second Front will be too much for

 him . '' An Italian government official enthused : `` In three or four months f

inito ! Now is a circle around Germany in Russia , Italy and France . '' But in 

fact the capture of the first enemy capital dwindled into a one-day story . The 

sizable press corps following the Italian campaign began to melt away , heading 

for Normandy . In coming months , with Lt. Gen. George Patton 's tanks blasting 

into Germany and a new invasion on the southern shores of France , the grinding 

war of attrition in northern Italy disappeared from public view . And so it has 

remained . Even during this 50th anniversary commemoration of World War II , Ita

ly is virtually ignored . One list of ceremonies around the world grouped the fa

ll of Rome with events in tiny Luxembourg and Poland where no Americans fought .

 But veterans of the Italian campaign are hoping for a pleasant change . With Pr

esident Clinton 's decision to visit Rome and Anzio his only appearances outside

 Normandy the `` Forgotten Front '' will be remembered , at least for a day or t

wo . -O- ( Paul Green , a former U.S. Senate staff member , represents Stars & S

tripes on the Rome 1994 Committee , composed of units from the Italian campaign 

that will commemorate the 50th anniversary in Rome on Saturday . )

 The rankings for hard-cover books in the Washington , D.C. , area as reported b

y selected book stores : FICTION : 1 . THE CELESTINE PROPHECY , by James Redfiel

d . 2 . THE CHAMBER , by John Grisham . 3 . INCA GOLD , by Clive Cussler . 4 . R

EMEMBER ME , by Mary Higgins Clark . 5 . `` K '' IS FOR KILLER , by Sue Grafton 

. NON-FICTION : 1 . IN THE KITCHEN WITH ROSIE , by Rosie Daley . 2 . STANDING FI

RM , by Dan Quayle . 3 . BEYOND PEACE , by Richard Nixon . 4 . EMBRACED BY THE L

IGHT , by Betty J. Eadie with Curtis Taylor . 5 . THE HALDEMAN DIARIES , by H.R.

 .

 WASHINGTON While House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dan Rostenkowski , D-I

ll. , agonizes over legal problems that threaten to end his political career , h

is likely successor , Rep. Sam Gibbons , D-Fla. , has spent the week mending fen

ces with the White House and sending unmistakable signals to his colleagues that

 he is anxious and ready to take charge . The jovial , avuncular Gibbons 's laid

 back political style and differing views on health care reform have left the Wh

ite House and congressional Democratic leaders uneasy in recent days , as they c

ontemplate the political realities of a post-Rostenkowski era . Without Rostenko

wski at the helm , some fear , the Ways and Means Committee could badly splinter

 and President Clinton 's health care initiatives could flounder . `` He 's comp

letely unengaged , '' complained an aide to the House Democratic leadership . ``

 He 's a nice guy and a smart guy , but he 's someone who hasn't put a lot of ti

me into helping to organize in the House . '' But Gibbons , 74 , a former Florid

a state legislator and decorated World War II veteran , insists that his critics

 have underestimated his organizational skills , dating to his work on President

 Lyndon B . Johnson 's war on poverty legislation . He assured the president and

 Hillary Rodham Clinton in separate conversations this week that he would set as

ide his own views on reforming the health care system and vigorously push for pa

ssage of the president 's plan before Congress adjourns this fall . `` There 's 

no doubt about it , I 'm totally on board , '' Gibbons said in an interview . ``

 The committee knows it , the Clintons know it and my district knows it . '' Gib

bons co-sponsored legislation to create a national system of government-paid hea

lth coverage through the Medicare program , a single-payer plan , contrasted wit

h Clinton 's approach , which relies on employer mandates for funding . Gibbons 

's bubbly enthusiasm and eagerness to take the committee 's reins has struck som

e of Rostenkowski 's closest allies as a bit unseemly in light of the chairman '

s serious legal problems that potentially could lead to a prison sentence . But 

after 32 years in Congress , Gibbons , like other longtime veterans , believes h

e is entitled to his day in the sun . `` There 's a deep regret my time had to c

ome on the footsteps of someone else 's travail , '' Gibbons said . `` I like Ro

sty , admire his ability as a legislator . He 's been very friendly with me and 

very supportive of some of the things I 've done . My heart bleeds for him and h

is family . '' This week sources described the chances of Rostenkowski accepting

 a plea agreement as increasingly unlikely . Rostenkowski , who is said to be le

aning toward fighting a lengthy court battle , may reach a decision on whether t

o accept a plea agreement by the weekend , the sources said . U.S. Attorney Eric

 H . Holder Jr. has given the veteran lawmaker until Tuesday to accept a guilty 

plea to at least one felony and jail time or face almost certain indictment . Si

nce the voters of Tampa , Fla. , first sent Gibbons to the House in 1962 , he ha

s aspired to lead the Ways and Means Committee , which has jurisdiction over tax

es , trade , Social Security , Medicare and more than half of federal spending .

 A moderate on most social issues , Gibbons is more conservative on economic mat

ters . As chairman of the subcommittee on trade , he became a leading advocate o

f free trade often an unpopular stance among House Democrats that became more fa

shionable with Clinton 's election . Not until recently after Rostenkowski 's le

gal problems escalated and other senior committee members indicated they would n

ot attempt to challenge Gibbons did it become clear that Gibbons would likely fu

lfill his wish to lead the committee . Two senior Democratic members of Ways and

 Means , Reps. Charles B . Rangel ( N.Y. ) , a committee powerhouse , and Fortne

y `` Pete '' Stark ( Calif. ) , a leader in the health care reform debate , this

 week endorsed Gibbons for the post if Rostenkowski is forced to step aside . ``

 I would think he would be a good presider over the committee who would play by 

the rules , '' Stark said . `` Danny played by the rules too , but those two are

 very different , and the committee will operate differently but I 'm just not s

ure how . '' But others warn that without the powerful Rostenkowski in command ,

 the subcommittees may assume greater influence , diffusing power , which could 

compound the difficulty of passing out controversial legislation . Though his de

tractors compare his style unfavorably to that of Rostenkowski , who for years f

orged deals within the delicately balanced committee through a combination of pa

tience , cajoling and occasional bullying , Gibbons is no shrinking violet . Fif

ty years ago , he parachuted behind enemy lines as part of the first wave of the

 allied forces ' D-Day invasion of France , eluded 15 German soldiers and then p

ulled together enough U.S. soldiers to secure the Douve River near the French to

wn of Ste. Mere-Eglise. The young Army officer carried two cans of Schlitz beer 

in his backpack and shared them with two other soldiers . `` A warm beer on a co

ol morning on an empty stomach , '' Gibbons recalled this week . Clinton selecte

d Gibbons to represent him during part of the 50th anniversary commemoration of 

the invasion , beginning this weekend . Gibbons met with the president and histo

rians Tuesday at the White House to recall his part in the invasion . As the ses

sion ended , , Clinton treated Gibbons to a surprise : Two Schlitz delivered on 

a silver tray .

 Tired of paying a 4 percent or 5 percent upfront commission when you buy a mutu

al fund from your broker ? Weary of worrying about withdrawal charges if you wan

t to leave your fund before you 've been in there for five or six years ? If so 

, I 've got some good news for you . The mutual-fund industry is quickly marchin

g down the path to a new kind of fund share , called the C share , or `` level-l

oad '' share . When you buy a level-load share , you don't pay an upfront commis

sion or face a withdrawal charge . Instead , you simply pay the fund an annual f

ee of 1 percent . The new C shares join two older types of broker-sold fund shar

es , now called A and B shares . To counter growing confusion about fund shares 

, the industry recently designated shares as Class A , B , C or D , depending on

 the sales charges and fees involved . The A share , which is the traditional fr

ont-end `` load '' share , comes with the unnerving sight of a broker slicing of

f a 4 or 5 percent commission before money is even invested . The B shares were 

created to avoid that pain and to allow an investor to keep his or her original