John Gray – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Scanned by nova scanner: Canoscan D1250 U2f software: Omnipage Pro 9 Date: 28 August 2002 Proofed by

but express them in a way that doesn't offend or hurt. By practicing some of the suggestions 
listed above, you will be stretching and exercising your ability to communicate in a more caring 
and trusting manner. After a while it will become more automatic. 
 
If you are presently in a relationship and your partner is attempting to apply some of the above 
suggestions, keep in mind that they are trying to be more supportive. At first their expressions 
may seem not only unnatural but insincere. It is not possible to change a lifetime of 
conditioning in a few weeks. Be careful to appreciate their every step; otherwise they may 
quickly give up. 
 
AVOIDING ARGUMENTS THROUGH LOVING COMMUNICATION 
 
Emotionally charged arguments and quarrels can be avoided if we can understand what our 
partner needs and remember to give it. The following story illustrates how when a woman 
communicates directly her feelings and when a man validates those feelings an argument can 
be avoided. 
 

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104 
I remember once leaving for a vacation with my wife. As we drove off in the car and could 
finally relax from a hectic week, I expected Bonnie to be happy that we were going on such a 
great vacation. Instead she gave a heavy sigh and said, "I feel like my life is a long, slow 
torture." 
 
I paused, took a deep breath, and then replied, "I know what you mean, I feel like they are 
squeezing every ounce of life out of me." As I said this I made a motion as if I were wringing 
the water out of a rag. 
 
Bonnie nodded her head in agreement and to my amazement she suddenly smiled and then