It is as though she wants him to suffer for twenty years just as she did. Fortunately that is not
the case. As they continue to share feelings and he hears and understands how she has been
neglected, she gradually becomes more receptive tohis changes. This can also go the other way;
a man wants to leave and the woman becomes willing to change, but he resists.
The Crisis of Rising Expectations
Another example of the delayed reaction occurs on a social level. In sociology it is called the
crisis of rising expectations. It occurred in the sixties during the Johnson administration. For the
first time minorities were given more rights than ever before. As a result there were explosions
of anger, rioting, and violence. All of the pent-up racial feelings were suddenly released.
This is another example of repressed feelings surfacing. When the minorities felt more
supported they felt an upsurge of resentful and angry feelings. The unresolved feelings of the
past started coming up. A similar reaction is occurring now in countries where people are
finally gaining their freedom from abusive government leaders.
WHY HEALTHY PEOPLE MAY NEED COUNSELING
As you grow more intimate in your relationships, love increases. As a result, deeper, more
painful feelings will come up that need to be healed deep feelings like shame and fear. Because
we generally do
not know how to deal with these painful feelings, we become stuck.
To heal them we need to share them, but we are too afraid or ashamed to reveal what we are
feeling. At such times we may become depressed, anxious, bored, resentful, or simply
exhausted for no apparent reason at all. These are all symptoms of our "stuff" coming up and
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